Sunday, December 31, 2006

Grumpy, oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR

I had some fantastic packing help offered yesterday and I took it. We packed like mad, even though I wasn't entirely prepared for the depth of packing...but hey, they were good! So, now, I am sitting in the middle of my all-but-empty kitchen and I am grumpy. My house is a mess, I have exactly ZERO plans for tonight b/c I have one week to finish packing, and I am grumpy. How on earth did I used to move so often?? When Tod and I met, we moved to TN, then, while we were there we moved, I think 4 times. Before that I had easily moved at least once a year all through college...of course, I had a whole lot less shit then, but honestly, I'm totally HATING this move and I'm only moving 1.5 miles away!!!!

I guess the good news is we're there to stay for a while too, so I guess that's good. And, moving IS good to help get rid of a bunch of crap. Also good. Ok, I'm feeling better already. Now, back to packing for me...

Saturday, December 30, 2006


So, I just want to mention for those of you who read this with any regularity, our computer chose this week to die. I've got it up for a brief bout, but who knows how much longer it'll be up!! So, to include everyone:

If you are -

Friends and Family: Thanks for the holiday goodies. We're lovin' everything, and looking forward to moving our new loot to the new house. Our phone numbers won't change, just the address. Come see us anytime!! We now have a "spare" room!!

My Secret Pal: I've posted our new address in the comments section under the post with the pix of the new house for you. It was the ebst way I could think to post it!

Followers of the Blog: Don't give up on me!!! I will post SOON, but with packing and moving, and all, I can't be sure when I'll have the blog back up and running. Check back often, but do not loose hope!!

We close on the 8th of January, so I'll certainly try to post after that. Until then, all offers to help will be accepted, and all good wishes can be sent to us via email, or phone. Thanks for all the support!!!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Packing...I mean X-mas

So, it's Christmas eve and what am I doing? I'm not wrapping presents, (ok, well, I have one to wrap, but that's b/c Uncle Phil hates wrapping and I told him I'd do it for him). I'm not sitting around our tree drinking egg nog and singing carols...I'm packing FRANTICALLY. We've been packing all day, in fact. My house looks as though it was robbed, but by an idiot thief, as the gifts are still under our tree. Oh, crap. The Tree! I haven't watered it in DAYS. It totally slipped my mind! (I'll be right back...). Whew. Ok, the tree's now been watered.
I do have my dinner for tomorrow night started, and breakfast ready to go first thing in the morning. What I haven't done yet today is
  1. eat any REAL food
  2. walk my dogs
  3. clean off my kitcehn table (eek. What the hell is all that CRAP on there for anyway?!!)
  4. change out of my PJs
Crazy. Who's idea WAS it to move at Christmas????!!!! I guess the good thing about it is that by the time we get settled into the new pad, we'll all be ready for another party!

Ok, since I've somehow managed to really injur BOTH my wrists packing, sewing (I had to make 2 more stocking today!), and kneeding bread, I have to stop typing! Anyway, Happy Holidays to y'all, and I'll be back tomorrow of the next day! See you then.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Our new house!!!

Here's the pics. Enjoy!
  • View from the road (I love those new windows!!)
  • Livingroom (windows from the inside!)
  • Master Bedroom (Nice fireplace, huh?!!)
  • Master Bathroom (the second shower head isn't up yet, and it's obviosly not done yet, but you get the idea!!)


Buried in paperwork.

Signed contract to sell our house last night.

Signing contract to buy new house in 10 minutes. WOW!

I will post pictures soon!!

House: terrible mess, BUT SOLD!!!
Emotional State of Owners: Excited, freaked out, TIRED!!!
New house: lovely, old but renovated, all hardwood floors!!!

Monday, December 18, 2006

TG- We've found a home

Ok, so after a VERY long weekend, we can fortunately report, WE HAVE A HOME! Tod and I "accidentally" sold our current home without actually having a home to move into...We were told not to expect to sell our little house at this time of year. I mean, who buys a house at Christmas?? Well, a lot of folks it looks like. We had the first two people who looked at our house offer to buy it. In fact, the first folks didn't even look at it, not in person anyway! They only saw the pictures on line and had their agent look at it!!! Amazingly, it took them 24 hours to put in a very reasonable offer to us. At which point, we needed to find a place FAST. So, we did go back to the first house we looked at (pictures will be posted AFTER I sign the contract today!!). It's a lovely home and in a wonderful neighborhood. I can't wait to post the pics.

So, the next few weeks will be rocking busy. We close on both places on the 8th of January, so we have to pack our brains out! Fortunately, the house we are buying is empty (and clean!), so we we have the option of moving some "stuff" over there before we actually close on it. Meantime, well, things are NUTS!!!

I'll make sure to get everyone my new address (especially my very important secret pal!!!), but again, I want to finish the paperwork before I make it "officially" our new address!!! Oddly enough, we're only moving about 1.5 miles from where we live now, but the change in neighborhood dynamics is HUGE!!!

Ok, enough. I've got paperwork to get back to and packing to finish!! Anyone what to help out? You have my number!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Holding pattern

No news on the house front. We're hoping to hear back from a seller today. Then we can accept the offer from the folks who want our house...otherwise, we're still homeless. I'll post later when I know something. Or, when I know something about the house situation, any way!

Friday, December 15, 2006


We are 6 months down from LID...our agency told us today to expect a 17 month wait as things stand now. They do expect a speed up, but not until Spring sometime...Bottom line: We know NOTHING.

OMG - offer on our house

Ok, I don't know much, other than Tod and I are post-poning our trip out of town this weekend due to an unfore-seen complication...someone wants to buy our house!!!! We'll get an offer in writing today. And you won't believe this. The person HASN'T even SEEN our house! Not in person anyway. Her agent looked at it yesterday and called her (she is from MD somewhere) and they desided to put an offer out TODAY!!!! She wants it by the first of the year!!!!! WOW! Ok, I'm too excited. I should calm down. And pack. And eat something. And pack MORE... Holy cow.

More later. Promise!!!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Big BIG box

I came home today to find this on my front porch:

This is what it is (although I haven't unwrapped it to see the pattern)

I had a hint that something was coming since the sender(s) (my brother and future SIL) called to tell me "something big" was on it's way. Wow. He wasn't kidding! It also came with a sweet note. It's so awesome. Definitly something I wouldn't have bought myself, since I mainly couldn't afford it (;->) AND thought maybe a stroller wasn't the way to go. But once I saw it, I knew it was perfect!!! Exactly what the "city baby" needs!!! ESPECIALLY since our new neighborhood has actual SIDEWALKS!! I can't wait to take Baby M out in it!!! It's nice and high, so she can see what's going on, and it's sturdy, so it can go anywhere. Thank you thank you!

Monday, December 11, 2006

crazy busy

I haven't been posting b/c I have been INSANELY busy getting our house ready to be sold. That's right. Last week Tod and I found the "house of our dreams", and the same day, chose to get our tiny house on the market. It's a LONG story, but we have to sell our house before we can buy the new one...there's one other offer on the "new" house, and there's a chance we won't get it. BUT, in the mean time, our house is up and out there. I hope it all works out.

Interestingly, Tod and I had been thinking about selling our place and buying a new on for sometime, but we thought we'd wait for about 6-8 months before we went through with it!! But, we happen to find the "perfect" house for us and a mess of kids, sooner rather than later.

I was going to send/post pictures of the "new house", but I'm hesitant until I know more. I'll send/post pix as soon as I feel that we will actually GET the house.

All that said, life has not slowed down any. With x-mas approaching, I've fallen further and further behind on EVERYTHING. Work got 100% put on hold last week (my boss is awesome!), and haven't done anything much except prepare the house for sale. Now, I'm trying to un-bury myself from the piles of "stuff" I need to do. Nearly ALL my social plans were put on hold as well, but Tod and I did take the time Friday to meet with some new friends (also adopting from China with a June LID!!). It was so fantastic to meet like-minded and genuinely cool folks who live near us AND are adopting from China!! We spent over 3 easy housr chatting and we could have easily spent more time with them, but we're all old (LOL) and had to get home to go to sleep. I say this all the time, but I am so lucky to have such great friends. I can't wait to have a HUGE house party to show off the new place. I'll invite all y'all!

Anyway, that's the haps. I'll post more when I actually have something worth posting on!! Meantime, y'all keep in touch!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Ups and Downs

Another December 5th has come and almost gone. Last year this date was amazing with great news (we were accepted into the China program by CCAI) and amzingly traumatic news (Tod was told he had to have open heart surgery). This December 5th has been traumatic, but not nearly as bad as last year. The house thing is in a holding pattern. For those of you I've spoken to about it, well, you know what's up. I'll call and update more of you this weekend. Mainly, we have to sell our house before we can even think about moving into the "new" house. EEK. I'll speak with our Real Estate Agent tomorrow.

As an aside, work just plain sucked today. I am not going to bore you with details, but it was one of those days I was there ALL DAMN DAY, and busy ALL DAY (not even a lunch break) and STILL somehow I managed to get NOTHING DONE. UG.

More when I find the energy!! This is shaping up to be an insane week...and, it's late, and I'm off to bed. So there.

Friday, December 01, 2006

House hunting...oops

So, how do you accidentally buy a house? Ok, no, calm down, Mom, we DIDN'T actually buy it. Tod and I did look at a house tonight. It was info from a friend of a friend kind of thing. It's a lovely little house!! More on this later. Basically, the best parts are:
  • It's literally within 2 blocks of the #1 Elementary School IN THE COUNTRY.
  • The neighborhood is wonderfully diverse (and I don't mean b/c it is full of drug dealers, gang-bangers, and a Mexican trailer our current one).
  • It has an active (and cool) neighborhood association that gets together to drink and chat once a month (the best part? You can walk home if you drink TOO much!)
  • The shower has that double sided shower thingy going on, so that there are giant shower heads on each side of the tiled shower stall...Need I say more???
So, I'm in love. But not so in love that if it doesn't work I'll be heart-broken...ok, maybe a LITTLE heart-broken, but not TERRIBLY TERRIBLY heart-broken...much.

Looking at more houses tomorrow. Talking to bank next week. Wish us luck!!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Baby "STUFF" freak out

Ok, we are still MONTHS away from referal, and on MOST days, I am ok with that. Mainly b/c I know I have tons of time to start amassing baby stuff...but today I stumbled across a blog from someone I know a little, and all her posts for the last 2 weeks were about baby stuff. What she's bought, what she needs to get, etc. It totally freaked me out. Books and clothes NOT included, I have about 8 things for Baby M.

Fact: we have little "extra" room to store stuff, and no bedroom set-up yet to put big items like a crib or dresser, but I've been wondering if some of this stuff shouldn't be bought a little ahead of bottles. Or sippy cups. Or blankets... only I don't have a freakin' CLUE what to buy. I see the day come when we are called with our referal, and I go MAD CRAZY buying baby stuff... b/c there's no way I have any idea what to get now. I have a few friends who have kids, and y'all are going to HAVE to take me shopping!! (Miss B.P. - what do you say???). Aren't there like a bazillion kinds of bottles and nipples? Where do I even start....

Fact: I'm still CLUELESS about kids stuff. So, I think I'm going to stick my head BACK in the not-a-mom-yet sand, and pretend I'm ok with the fact I wouldn't know where to start buying baby stuff. TG for my Secret Pal, at least SHE seems to have an idea what we need!! (I HAVE to post the picture of the towel set. SOOOO cute!!).

Fact: Here's what I own (for Baby M):
1 bear rattle
1 package Pampers diapers (very small)
3 sippy cups
1 package plastic spoons
1 towel set
1 Baby Magic (:-) baby lotion
1 safety bath ducky

ok, so I'm cut off from the afore-mentioned blog. She's got it together! She actually had a TUB full of feeding stuff...WTF? Is there something that happens where I suddenly become "baby stuff" savy? If so, I'm still waiting.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Back in the South, Y'all!

I am just posting very briefly to say I am safe and sound back in my home in lovely North Carolina. The weather here is SO much more reasonable than back Home in WV. But, the folks back in WV are nice as can be, so I guess I can't complain too much! Sufice to say I had a nice time, and while Home isn't exactly the same HOME anymore, I still love it.

I also wanted to mention that I received a beautiful towel set (bath towel and hand towel) from my Secret Pal. I did take pictures, but don't have time to post them, so I'll have to post them later. My SP is very thoughtful. And she MUST read my modest little blog. The towels have a flower (for the plant doctor!) on them, and the bigger towel has a flower AND a lady bug (for Baby M!!). Plus the green and pink matches our nursary!!! So sweet, and perfect. I have to say, I have so little for Baby M at this time, everything so far has been not only perfect, but sweet as anything! Thanks tons!!

I also have to post pictures on my X-mas tree. Tod and I (along with my Monster-In-Law) put up our tree yesterday. It is a bit motly, but we love it. More on this later. One thing that did make me smile was that last year we had just started our adoption and I bought an ornament for Baby M. When it came out yesterday I was overwhelemd with happiness. I need to get her one for this year too, which I haven't done yet. My Mother bought each of us (me and my brother) an ornament each year for 25 years or something. When I trim my tree, I get to see each one and follow my years with the ornaments. (Example, one year I was mega into wolves, so Mom bought me a wolf ornament. I was also in the marching band - hey, stop laughing - and I have a baritone ornament... anyway, you get the point!). Baby M's ornament from last year was a simple silver ornament that said "PEACE" and it is hung on a red ribbon. I thought it was perfect. I hope to come up with something equally lovely this year to signify her first December on earth (I THINK she'll probably be born already by the time X-mas rolls around). No matter what, it'll be the second X-mas that Tod and I have been on our official adoption that began over 4 years ago but couldn't be realized until last December.

I knew the holidays would help us "get through the WAIT", and this year I think the holidays will not only do that, but they will be extra special in many ways. We are coming up on a bitter-sweet anniversary, and one I will never EVER forget.

Anyway, I'm home, and I'm WAY behind on everything, but I'm home!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Leaving for the week

So, I won't be blogging for another week. I'm heading Home to WV for the holiday. I am super excited and am looking forward to MUCH relaxation. I'm taking 8 books with me...let's see how many I actually get through.

And while I'm gone, don't let this happen to you:

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Too tired to blog

I'm posting briefly b/c I always endevor to post at LEAST once a week, and I try to get more than that in...but this week has just been HELL! I've been so busy the last few weeks at work (which has paid off, more on this down below), but when I come home, I can't think of doing anything but showering, eating, and sleeping. Not always in that order! Today, I shot out of work while my boss was at lunch, and I ran away. I left my technitian a note saying I was out for the day, and I booked! The weather is ABSO-FRIKIN-LUTLY awasome here (low 70's, slightly cloudy, lovely "fall" smell in the air) so I went home, walked my dogs, and opened all the windows and doors at home. I started cooking a NICE dinner at about 4:00, and just popped it in the oven (not bad, an hour and a half). I've been eating out everyday, trying to get my damn grass taken care of before my vacation next week, so things have been nuts. It was so nice to jet early today, enjoy the weather, and cook something at home. Oh, and did I mention I opened a nice bottle of vino, and am now enjoying my evening EVEN MORE!

So, I am just going to mention this and maybe go into detail later, but I doubt it. It's not that exciting for anyone out there in blog land! Basically, I worked my butt off last week b/c my boss's boss's boss (twice removed??) was in town from Germany. The BIG boss, if you will. I had to prepare a presentation on my research and it was basically do-or-die time. Let's just say, I done good. Good enough they've invited me to Germany to tour the headquarters for the company paying my salary. The best part? Not only is it an ALL expenses paid trip, but they've invited me to bring Tod along too!! On their dime!! Super cool, huh? Anyway, I'm looking forward to it, and my passport is even up to date. ;->

Oh, I almost forgot, we're at the 5 month mark!!!! ROCK ON! 5 down, and 7(ish) to go! Come ON REFERRALS!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Tired of adoption whining, don't read this!

Actually, I'm not reallt going to complain about the Wait too much...not now anyway. I have been reading some very positive things coming out of China about the possibility of Wait times actually going down (i.e. LID to Match speeding up). It dosen't really change OUR situation, I don't think. All along we've been told to expect about a 12 month wait to Match (with about another 2 months after that to travel). That puts us at a June Referral and travel in August...which is what I had guessed at all along. On my optomistic days, I think we'll get a referral earlier in the Spring, and travel by June or July. It MIGHT happen... A province that has been closed just recently opened back up (check this out if you are interested), and that province usually accounts for 1/4 of the children going out to international adoptions. The word is that this should help things speed up. I'm not holding my breath, but it WOULD BE NICE!!!

I was actually reading a blog the other day from a single parent who was in China right now picking up her daughter. The woman had an LID of July of 2005. she received her referral in August (of 2006) and is there NOW with her daughter. If we are on the same track, then that puts us at a July referral and a September travel. But in my heart of hearts, I DO think things will speed up, and either way, I plan on having my DD THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!!! And I can't wait!

On a totally unrelated note, the weather here was abso-freakin' beautiful yesterday. In the low 80's, crystal clear skies, the colors were beautiful, the air was clean... walking the dogs last night was wonderful. This morning, however, we woke to RAIN, and 53 degrees. (It's my fault. I called my friend Jen, who has 9 inches of snow, and told her I was over dressed in a tee-shirt, flip flops and jeans...ha ha.) Joke's on me!! Your icky weather is comnig our way!!

The good news? Well, it's a PERFECT day to stay in and sew!!!!

Monday, November 06, 2006

This n That

Just a very brief post. I am still in the midst of my "weeks from Hell", and have about 1 hour "to myself" tonight...I hardly know what to do first: shower, eat, sleep, or catch up on email? Well, I'm catching up on email, as you can (sort of) see. So I thought I'd post briefly.

I don't actually have anything to report. I still don't know what my house looks like in daylight, as I've been comeing and going after hours (or too early!!) for two weeks. Tomorrow (sometime after 9:00 pm) the craziness stops. If only temporarily. I have a professional presentation to give tomorrow, meetings all day, a meeting after my meetings, and then a business dinner...worst of all, I'll miss GG tomorrow night...but I supose I'll survive. I'm taking off Wednesday morning to SLEEP IN and NOT get out of my PJs until well into the afternoon. I plan on sewing, drinking coffee, and listening to the radio ALL damn day. I'm not even going to answer my phone (ok, I MAY answer my phone once or twice...).

Tonight I went to an EXCELLENT lecture by a professor of Cell Biology at Brown. His name is Ken Miller, and he's really really good. He was a star witness in the Kitzmiller vs. Dover case in Kansas last year. Facinating stuff. Made me remember why I love hanging around academic types.

Tomorrow is election day. Don't forget to VOTE!! Remember: VOTE EARLY, and VOTE OFTEN. So, go. Go vote.

Thursday, November 02, 2006


I worked nearly a 12 hour day yesterday (my second this week), and went home and slept for 11 hours...When I woke up at my usual time, I actually felt RESTED. Not the "too much sleep" hang-over. Actually like I had gotten enough sleep... I'm stocking up. today and tomorrow proove to be more long days. But hey, I've got a coffee pot (and lots of coffee), left over Halloween candy, and I'm good to go.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Our Adoption Timeline

Just a quickie before I settle in for the night. I want to mention I likely won't be blogging much this week due to an up-coming WEEK FROM HELL. In anticipation, I am turning in early, and I thought I'd add another "required" post on my adoption-blog: the adoption timeline.

Here's the somewhat-edited version -
  • 12-1-05 - Sent application to CCAI (our agency)
  • 12-5-05 - Received the acceptance call
    • as an aside here, this is the SAME DAY we found out DH had to have open-heart surgery...
  • Early-January - accepted to Home Study (HS) agency
    • began HS
    • Sent I-600A
  • 1-18-06 - Final HS visit (the last of 4 visits)
  • 4-18-06 - Drove to Charlotte for fingerprints
  • 4-27-06 - Received 171-H (must have been a record!!)
  • Early May - Paperwork authenticated, and sent for Certification
    • We used a currier service, and received our paperwork back from DC in 7 days.
  • 5-23-06 - Dossier sent to agency (whoo-hoo!!)
  • 5-30-06 - I FINALLY turn 30!! Now, we're official!
  • 6-7-06 - Dossier sent from review to translation
  • 6-9-06 - our Dossier is sent to CHINA, baby!
  • 6-15-06 - Official Log In Date (LID). The WAIT begins in earnest...***sigh***
  • 8-20-06 - Received the Brown Envelope!!
So for those of you interested in this, but not "in the adoption know":
Now, from our LID to our Match, we were told to expect to wait 12 months. Others with the same LID were told to wait 14 months. Eitherway, we will likely wait 4-8 weeks once we are matched with a child until we are able to travel to meet her. We'll spend 10-14 days in China. Until we are matched with a baby, we don't know a THING. After we are matched, we'll get her given name, her birthday, her measurments and health status, and her orphanage and province.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Baby Magic - the untold story

So, in light of my super cool Secret Pal (from the June Bugs 2006 Group), I thought I'd finally tell the story of how Baby M got her nickname (which is Baby Magic). Here's the skinny:

As many people who know us, or read my silly little blog, are aware, my dear friend Uncle Phil lives with us (that's a whole 'nother story!), and it was way back last September when he moved in with us. (We had painted our nusery in preparation for the baby...a lovely soft pink and green. It was the only spare room in the house, so we like to joke, we prepared to adopt a baby girl and adopted instead a 32 year old man...who lives in our nursery). Anyway, I digress. Basically, DH and I told Phil (who was NOT Uncle Phil at that time) that we were planning to adopt our first child, and he would be around for at least some of the paperchase (little did I know...). DH and I couldn't/can't agree on a name for the baby, so for a few months we simply called her "The Baby". Anyway, Phil was very excited about the possiblility of a baby and immediatly suggested that we name her "Ervin Magic Johnson Hatfield Seth Carley". Surprisingly enough, this was catagorically rejected due to two reasons:
  1. This was a mouthful, definitly. Can you imagine her first day of school??
    "And what's your name little girl? "My name's Payton Allison Smith" "My name is Jaydon Dresdon Jones." "My name is Ervin Magic Johnson insert-Chinese-name-here- Hatfield Seth Carley."...The whole class would fall asleep before she was done with her SECOND middle name! Anyway...
  2. More importantly, we didn't want to name our DD Ervin ANYTHING. (Go figure)
So, I agreed we'd consider his suggestion. He wasn't exactly pleased, but began calling "The Baby" Baby Magic everytime her talked about her. Baby Magic stuck. Now, we ALWAYS refer to the baby as "Baby Magic" or Baby M. We even used that when we spoke to our social worker for our Home Study!! By the end of our HS, even our SOCIAL WORKER was calling her Baby Magic!! So, now, when anyone asks what we're naming our DD, we say "Baby Magic".

As an addendum: Phil is already excited over the prospect of another adoption after this one. His suggestion for names for the next baby girl include: James Worthy Hatfield Seth Carley, Major Harris Hatfield Seth Carley, and simply "Baby Kareem"... Is it obvious Uncle Phil likes basketball (and is a WVU fan)?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Mamma's got a brand new bag

So, I've been sewing. It's a good weekend when you can stay home and sew!! Here's my new bag:
It's basically a tote, and on this one the straps a little short, but this was just the prototype. I'm selling these too, should anyone desire a NEW bag. It's about 14 inches tall, and a little more than that wide. LOTS of room for crafting, books, groceries, baby stuff, etc. I've made the outside with 2 pockets, and the inside has one big pocket and 3 small pockets, but can be adjusted as per individual desires.

(Click on picture twice to enlarge to see detail)

Friday, October 20, 2006

New sewing project

So, last night after yoga, I came home and made a new sewing project for Tod's dog (modeling below), The Mad Lab. Check it out!!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Secrets - and the Adoption Catch-22

So, our 4 month (since LID) mark came and went here. Our agency tells us to expect about another 8 month wait to match. I TRY not to think about it. I TRY not to read the other blogs that talk about the slow-down in referrals. I especially try NOT to read the RQ blog, but yesterday I snuck on. It was aweful. She did the math for how many dossiers CCAA gets in a month, and then how many people had had their dossiers turned in. The number was roughly 1:3. One child for every 3 dossiers. Her speculation went on to say that at that rate, referrals could take YEARS... Then, just now I popped on and she said something about dossiers being referred by DTC, NOT LID...that would put us only one week closer (DTC June 9, LID June 15). But to some people, this is a big thing. Of course, it's ALL speculation. But hell, what ELSE do we have??

So, the big secret. The one I haven't told anyone...not even Tod... I looked at changing countries yesterday.Vietnam (our #3 country when we were choosing countries way back in the day) only has a 4 month wait time... 4 MONTHS. That means, if we'd have gone with them in June, well, Baby M would be Baby M from Vietnam, and she'd be home in time for Thanksgiving. THIS Thanksgiving. If we changed now, we'd have her say, by my 31st B-day. But, really, 2 things are stopping me from actually REALLY moving ahead with a change.

  1. As sick as it makes me, we can't AFFORD to change countries now. It wouldn't be THAT much in the grand scheme of things (cump change to a lot of folks out there), but to us...well, it's enough to make it impossible. In fact, it's also almost impossible for us to try to have a baby that shares our DNA, for that same reason. I can't imagine going from no kids to 2 in a matter of one year. If it were Tod giving birth, maybe! LOL. But I can't take time off work just to have a kid, then turn around in another 2 months and say, "oh, ha. I need another 3-6 months off for ANOTHER baby." It wouldn't be fair to Baby M. It wouldn't be fair to ANYONE. So, here we sit. The adoption catch-22.

  2. China called to us. I don't care how dumb you think that sounds, other China A-parents will tell you that's how it happens. China called; we just answered. Our Baby M is IN CHINA. If we change countries, well, we won't get Baby M. Period.
Doesn't this entire SYSTEM seem REALLY REALLY F-ed up? Lots of babies needing a good home, lots of good people with good homes wanting a baby... and yet, it takes YEARS to put the two together.

Control freaks do not do well in these types of situations....

Friday, October 13, 2006

Collecting Quilt Squares

So, for anyone out there in blog-land who isn't part of the June DTC group (I've got most of those squares!!), I am collecting quilt squares for Baby M's OHGWQ. Basically, I would like a piece of material about 8X8 inches square, and a note with a wish and your name on it) please include a scrap of cloth to go with the wish). Here's and example ->

Anyone want to help? Email me if you'd like my address to help me fill our daughters quilt with squares and her life-book with warm wishes.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I LOVE the South

So, a very good friend of mine - the one who lives in BFE, Iowa - sent me this today:

"It officially snowed yesterday afternoon.....and again last
night. Nothing much other than a "light dusting" --- but I can't see
the boards on my porch."

Can I just say (sorry, JT), ICK!! It was 75 degrees here today and BEAUTIFUL. I was in a TANK-TOP and jeans...(I would have been in flip-flops, but I can't wear them and work in a lab. Fooy.)

Oh, and I saw the first camillia blooming today...they will bloom all the way through February or March. (Did I mention my gardinias are blooming again??)

I LOVE the South.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Is it TOO much to ask that we respect the people around us?? I have been told more than once that I expect TOO MUCH from others - be it fairness, kindness, thoughtfulness, respect, etc. For example, when driving, I try to be considerate and kind to those around me. Example - if someone is trying to turn into the lane I am in, or across my lane and it is both safe for them to do so, and they have their turn signal on (most people do not seem to know what these little things are here in the South...), then I will allow them to turn in front of me, or stop so they can get past me. I DO expect a wave, and nod, or SOMETHING that says "hey, thanks". MANY times I am disappointed, and much like Jerry Seinfeld, I am left asking "Where's my wave??". Ok, so as usual, I digress.

But in the case I am about to mention, I think ANYONE would have expected a little more respect/kindness/etc. Let me set the scene. I was at my dermatologists today to check a little mole-thingy looked at (turned out A-ok), and 2 doors down in the same building was a geriatrics’ doctor's office. As I was stepping outside my doctor's office to finish my coffee (so as not to break the NO FOOD/DRINKS rule in the waiting room) I saw a man and an older woman coming out of the old-people's doctor's office. The man was young enough I took him to be the woman's son. She was quite elderly, and needed some help to the car. The ENTIRE TIME I stood outside drinking my coffee the man was berating the woman. She was too slow. She was too frail. She was talking too much. Why won’t you shut up? (the man went on, voice getting louder and louder). I am so sick of hearing you talk. Shut-up. Shut-your mouth...

You get the idea. I was so horrified I was struck dumb. (I know, I know, NO ONE has ever seen this happen to me before, but its true. Me. Stuck dumb...). I wanted to storm over and insist the man treat (what I assumed was) his mother with more respect. At the VERY LEAST, treat her like a human being. However, by the time I finally decided to say something, they were far enough away I would have had to run over to them, and they were about in the car already, so I stayed put. I was walking back to the door to my doctor’s when another person came up behind me and said “I hope that wasn’t his mother! He was being just awful to her!” I agreed of course, and we actually spoke briefly about how sad it was to have witnessed such an event. I did mention, however, that regardless of whether or not it was actually his mother, NO ONE should be spoken to like that. NO ONE. It mad me angry, AND it made me sad. So many cultures treat their elders with the utmost respect, and in fact, part of the issue in China with having boys is so the boys will grow-up to take care of his aging parents. The aging parents are SO respected and are SO expected to be cared for, families will give-up their daughters so they can have boys to take care of them...(I’m of course, over-simplifying here, so you purists can just accept that). But why is it in our culture (and by this I mean AMERICA) we prefer to treat our elders as well, as a burden and as lepers?

I am sure no one reading my modest little blog would do that, but we all know people who would. Is it our parents that teach us that behavior? Did this man truly despise his mother so much that he treated her this way (and IN PUBLIC! Imagine how he treats her at home!!). It makes me wonder about the school shootings (recent and not-so-recent); did these children never learn to be kind and compassionate towards others? To respect LIFE, and the lives around them?? What kind of people were these PARENTS?? I hope to teach my daughter to not only respect her parents and her family, but her elders, her friends, her classmates, and ESPECIALLY HERSELF as well.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Friends, again...

Haven't I posted like 10 times on this very topic? Isn't it ALL the same?? It may be. So feel free to skip this post, I don't think I have anything NEW to say. Just the same old thing, maybe dressed up a little've been warned!

So, I had this dream last night that my now ex-best friend called me to chat. In my dream it was both exciting AND upsetting, mainly because it was one of those dreams that was so realistic that when I woke up I felt that it had actually occured. As a little back story here, I give up on people as well as Plasmodiophora give up on their hosts, which is to say - I don't. Even when it is OBVIOUS I should. If my ex called me today, I'd talk to him and want to know he's doing well. Honestly! If B called me today, I would be both upset AND excited to hear from her. I considered calling her today, of course, but fortunately someone smarter than myself had encouraged me to delete her phone number months ago...Anyway, this all brought me to thinking about people and keeping in touch with current friends. I have a friend whom I see infrequently, and honestly do not know terribly well, but she is a wonderful person. I like her. She is bad about returning emails (a big part of that is she's a SAHM of an 18 month old), and occationally I think "Is it worth it to pursue this?". So far, I would say yes, definitly. But of other friendships, sometimes I wonder if it's worth "holding onto" them if it feels like maybe the time has passed, and that friendship isn't really worth saving. I go back to this ALL THE TIME, but I miss B. I miss being her friend, but that's a friendship that ended and I need to move the F on. But will I know when to move on in the furture from friends that aren't "good friends"? I think it's obvious in a recent case anyway, the answer is no...but maybe I'm learning. I am at the VERY least making some new friends, and there's something I never did before. Perhaps spreading the friendship wealth around is a better way to do things than having 2 or 3 REALLY REALLY good friends. Of course, I still have those 2 or 3 REALLY good friends, but now, I actually have become friendly with other people!! For me, it is a more "responsible" way to handle my social life. It must have something to do with the coming/onset of Motherhood. Do you learn to become more responsible because you are going to be a perent, or it is because you going to become a prent you become more responsible?

So far, I don't have an answer, but I do know, I have made more friends because I am becoming a parent, and so far, that's pretty good.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Playing catch up

I always feel as though I'm running behind. How is it possible that tomorrow is Tuesday already? Ok, ok. Secret guilt, I'm THRILLED it's Tuesday - GG is on!! My GG gal-pal is out of town, so it looks like I'll be wathing it alone...or rather, at home while the boys pester me about it. I think Phil might try to watch it with me, actually. Deep down, I think he loves the show. ;->

I had a wonderful weekend, although I didn't get to catch up with any of my gal-pals. I owe many phone calls, especially to the Mid-westerners out there. Somehow I actually forgot to charge my phone this weekend and managed to forget about it most of the weekend. GASP! Like going outside naked (ok, like going outside naked HERE in Raleigh, not like going outside naked back Home where no one but the deer would notice, and they wouldn't give two hoots about it), I constantly felt I was "missing something". I was! That and my car's in the shop again...anyway, long story short, I had a LOVELY weekend buying much material for hand-bags. I'm down to only 4 orders, so I need to get some more orders to keep me busy!!! What will I do if I run out of projects??!!! I've got months and MONTHS to fill here, people. Help me out! I've been reading other a-parents "To Do Lists". They depress me. They are all like : paint nursery. buy nusery furniture set. go shopping for cute clothes. Our nursery IS painted...but then a 32 year old man moved in. Nursery furniture? Well, what-ever hand-me downs people are kind enough to send our way, basically, is what will go in Baby M's room. Clothes? Well, another a-mom gave me tons of stuff, as did another dear friend. We're mostly set, since I don't have a clue how old Baby M will be, I don't want to shop...ok, now I'm depressing myself again. I'm going to bed before I continue to feel sorry for myself and all the other waiting parents out there...

Is it referral time yet?

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Wow, how is it Thursday already?

This week has been a bear. I worked on my feet from 9:00 a.m. until roughly 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday night. Not JUST on my feet, but on cement...with Phil singing '80's "hits" the ENTIRE TIME!!! Fortunately, the only TV show I watch was having the season opener that night and I managed to rush to Laz's house to catch the show with her. How aweful is it that I only watch one show, and it's this one? But I can't help it!!! I love it...and I love watching it with my girlfriend(s) and talking about it!!! Ok, I'm done embarassing least for now!

This weekend I am staying close to home and relaxing. I know, I know. It's hard to beleive, but it's true. And it'll be needed after the week I've had. I hope to catch up on quilting, house cleaning, and phone calls to girlfriends. Oh, and catching up on emails. sigh. Is it Friday yet?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Forgive the list...

So, in the interest of beginning a registry, I'm slowly starting one. It says I can post it to my blog, and I'm hesitant, but am going to TRY it this way. If I hate it being up, I'll take it've been warned. BTW - Thanks to Nikki for putting like half the cool stuff on here!! Feel free to help me add more at any point!! Plus, I'll take suggestions. Being a first time mom (to be), I'm clueless to most of this stuff!!

Just a quickie

So, I just want to say how much I appreciate my friends. I have been "dumped" (for lack of a better term) by three close friends in the last year, and one of those people was my dearest bestest friend for almost 10 years...and I don't keep a lot of friends close b/c I tend to have one or two REALLY good friends, rather than a bunch of so-so friends. HOWEVER, recently, with the death of one good friendship and the fact that another one of my dear friends left the perfectly wonderful South for the icky and cold Mid-west (hee hee, I'm teasing, JT!!), I started trying to branch out. I've posted once before about how cool my friends are, and I'm doing it again. I am so blessed to haver truly wonderful people who are willing to be "there" for me. Not only Tod and Uncle Phil of course, but mainly my girlfriends (b/c I really do have the greatest gals in town on my social list!!). Yesterday I had a crappy work day, and a very wonderful one of my girlfriends agreed to chill out and have a cuppa' with me. As usual, my phone rang non-stop, and I was a total mess, but she hung in there with all my craziness. And I think she may even agree to get coffee again sometime!! (or possibly shopping??!!). I'm just really really lucky.

On a totally unrelated note, the weather here is absolutly FANTASTIC, and even though I spent 2 hours sitting in the grass at work today (clipping grass with scissors), it was still just beautiful. I didn't even MIND sitting in the grass, looking stupid, cutting 40 envelopes worth of grass... ok, I didn't mind MUCH... Ah, the things we do in the name of science....

Monday, September 18, 2006

Back from Yankee Town

So, we've been out of town for a family gathering for the last few days. Just about my whole family (on my Mom's side) was there. It was lots of fun, and everyone seemed to get along fine, which is a little surprising!! We had lots of photos taken, and here's one that was supposed to be a silly photo, but I think I end up looking silly, and Drea ends up looking hot... Look out, we might just have the next Charlie's Angel here! All in all, good times were had by all.

As a brief aside, we have passed the 3 months (from LID) down mark. At one time, I thought that would be exciting. Now, 3 months seems like so little time considering what we MAY have to wait. I am in terrible denial that wait times are getting longer and longer. When we started, as I have said before, wait times for a referral were down around 9 months. Now, if I read our agency's site correctly, people who sent their DTC in September of last year won't get their referral until FEBRUARY. The math? Well, that's roughly 17 months TO REFERRAL. We sent ours in 3 %$@&ing months ago...I shudder to think what our wait time will end up being. I think I'm back to wondering if it was worth it...maybe we should have gone with a different country (Vietnam, for example has a 4 month wait time. And that's firm.). Tod said no. We chose China 4 years ago for all the reasons we did, and it is for those reasons we stuck with it. Ug. I guess this at least gives us time to find a new house, right?? Looks like we'll have PLENTY of down time in the next year.

I do have a few things I keep forgetting to post on. Note to self: Put up adoption time line. One day I'm going to remember!!

Anyway, I'm back in NC, and it's good to be back in the South, Y'ALL!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Rock on Secret Pal and Best Pal

So I've had a crappy day. Work stunk, it's raining, and it's only Wednesday. But low-and-behold when I got home I had TWO packages to open!!! One from my uber awesome June DTC Group Secret Pal, and one from my uber awesome best pal (in Iowa), Jen. I haven't yet opened Jen's gift, but I tore open the one from my SP. Observe the lovely photos below. The card was so sweet. It said:
"Someday this frame can hold your beautiful daughter's photo, in the meantime I filled it with a wish. That wish can remind you that she may already be sharing the same sky with you."

I love it. You're so crafty!! I bet your life book will be beautiful. I'm eventually going to add the wish to my life book, but so far I haven't even started one...sigh. It is such a nice thought and when I get sad (about the stupid Wait) I'll hold this close and try to look up, both to the sky and to be more optomisitc. Thanks, Secret Girlfriend. You are the BEST!!

Jen, you rock too, but I have to wait to open yours until Tod gets home. (since it WAS addressed to both of us!!!). Pictures tomorrow on this if I can remember to post them!!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Joys of owning an older home, part deux

Ok, so not so much fun. Our hot water heater went out this week. It's been going for sometime, but we just noticed that it had rusted out this morning...which lead Tod to turn off our water...all day. My guess is it's not coming back on tonight. Not fun. To make matters even more complicated (ok, WORSE, to make them WORSE), his mother is in town. How much fun is that??? (ok, so this last sentence doesn't exactly translate well as sarcasm is lost in print, but are you feeling my pain??!!).

We are also the proud parents of (wait for it...) a baby squirrel. I actually have a photo of it "nesting" in an interesting place, but I'm too lazy to dig out the memory card. I'll get around to it tomorrow. It' s really cute, but man it wants a lot of attention and food. I went to work today with milk splatters on my shirt. I suppose I should get used to it, huh??

(Disclaimer I am being forced to type this next part...) Though it all I can count on my good friend Phil.... (ok, he's gone, I can go back to making faces at him... very mature, I know).

Anyway, I'm grumpy and can't shower....I'd make faces at ANYONE right now....

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Folks in town

My folks are in town. We're relaxin' here in style and with a mini-zoo (there are 5 dogs in my house!!). The rain has FINALLY come and gone and the weather is lovely. Who knew it could actually be 75 degrees in Raleigh??!!! Perfect Carolina blue skies... life is good.

Friday, September 01, 2006

I'm back...

I've been on a mini-hiatus due to the crash of my computer..check that, crash of BOTH my computers. Fortunately I am skilled in computer resurrection, so I'm back now.

Just a quickie catch up:
Tod's cardiologist appointment - went great. He got a "clean bill of health" and was told to cut back on his meds (not the expensive ones unfortunately) and come back in one year. Whoo-hoo!

Around the house - We've torn our little house apart and are currently building a shed out back. Much of the "stuff" from our third bedroom (which has been the "junk room" for the last 4 years) is going into the shed. Much of it is actually Tod's tools and such, and a few odds and ends. Hence the tearing up of the house. I'm still un-burying the kitchen table from the mess that was made, but all in all, progress has been made. Or rather, was being made until we started getting a butt-ton of rain. (We did need the rain, but why does it always seem NC gets a hurricane just as we begin a huge home-improvement project?!)

Uncle Phil - complains if I don't post enough about him. He's still "finding himself" and even, GASP, working hard around the house! If you don't beleive me (and those of you who KNOW Phil probably don't beleive me), see above photo.

All else - Good. Good. Things are going smoothly around here. Last week I was ready to sell our little house and buy a historic 1927 home (It was a named house!!), but alas, it was out of our price like 150 K more than we can afford. Not exactly the kind of range we could swing! However, we are currently looking for a house in THIS neighborhood. We figure it'll take us over a year to get enough money to find a house, sell this one, and get it together do it all. Plus, we can't move before the adoption is finalized or we have to go through the homestudy update process...and of course, pay more money. If only we had the extra cash for such extravagance!

So, that's it for the update. I'm up and running again so I should be posting more regular like again soon.

Friday, August 18, 2006

To register or not to register

So Tod and I were having a discussion of (of all things) car seats. While it is a long story (dealing with a tiny little car), the discussion came about whether or not we should register for baby stuff. I hasitated to register for our wedding, but we did go ahead and do so. I was glad we did. We got a lot of stuff we really wanted, AND we still have it! It was great. Now, a number of people asked if we are going to register for "stuff" for Baby Magic (note to self, Blog on why we call Baby Magic Baby Magic). I discussed it with Tod last night. We are torn. Frankly, with Christmas coming up (I even saw some Christmas stuff in a store the other day. I kid you not), we thought maybe it would be a good idea since all we really want is baby stuff. Well, more ROOM and baby stuff.

What's the take out there in Blog-Land? Did you register? If so, where? What are the pros and cons? Drop me a comment and help me out!!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Two months down

Well, my friends, we are 2 months down with roughly 10 months to go. I'm of course talking about our "pregnancy". Somehow these last 2 months have flown by, and they have seemed easy. In another month, well, it'll be like a "normal" pregnancy (minus the water-weight gain and pickles and icecream cravings, or course) - a mere 9 months to go at that point. In December, it will be a WHOLE year from when we began the journey, and in January (with only maybe 4 months left to go) it will be a whole year after Tod's surgery...Wow. Time do fly.

Friday, August 11, 2006

A post all about Phil...#2

So, I guess it's nice when you see your name on someone's blog. It's like, hey, they like me! So, I have obviously not posted enough on certain people lately and said-person is upset. So, in order to make the aforementioned person feel loved, here is a post, all about Phil, part 2.

Phil would like to be president one day so he can control the world. On his "good days" he realizes there's no way anyone would vote him into office, so he says that Baby Magic has to be president (so Phil can run the world from behind the scenes, kind of like Dick Cheney...only Baby Magic would be smart enough not to listen to Phil. And she'd be better looking too.).

He is going through what I like to call "The Life Change". (Once he reads this I will be in BIG trouble, so I hope you can all remember this and know that, even when I post a disclaimer LATER, THIS IS TRUE, and NOT the disclaimer I am sure I will have to post later under duress...). No, Phil is not having hot flashes, or mood swings, or sadness over his inability to bear children... Ok, yes he is. (Especially mood swings). He's left his job to pursue sanity. So far...well, so far I think he's doing well. Mostly. But like hot flashes, it comes and goes.

I met Phil in highschool. He was a huge dork. He was cute, and very funny, and really smart. Things he tries to hide to this day, but I know the truth. The most embarassing thing I know about from his past is that he is afraid of sharks, and once his sister(s) put a picture of a shark on the bottom of the toilet seat. I guess he's never quite recovered since he still has to pee in a bottle. Toilets just freak him out too much. It's true.

I will post more on this later...I have a call into a good friend for more "Phil Dirt"... haa haa. get it? fill dirt? (Ok, I never said I was funny!!).

Feel free to add to this post down there where it sez comments. Leave us a story or two. I'll save them. You know, in case he really DOES run for president.

(As an aside, I was looking for an old yearbook photo pf Sir P...if anyone has one, send it to me.)

Dumb Boys...

So Tod has this habit that I think is super cute. When I get out of bed at 7:00 a.m. to walk the dog, he immediatly curls up on my side of the bed and snuggles with my pillow. I think is is so sweet, and so the other day I finally mentioned how cute I thought it was that he did this. He looked at me and shook his head. "I'm not doing it b/c I miss you", he said laughing. "I do it b/c your pillow is more comfortable!" That'll teach me to mention anything like THAT again!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Boys are DUMB.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Just checking in

In an attempt NOT to go for too long without posting, I'm going to try to come up with something here. First off, I should mention that (I only told a few of you this) Tod was having some chest pain the other day. He bumped his cardiologist' appointment up, then they talked and figured it was likely "only a pulled muscle", not actually heart-related. Tod had been REALLY freaked out about having chest pain, as you can well imagine, and is feeling much better knowing it isn't his heart giving him trouble...or at least, not THAT kind!! His next check-in/check-up is in a few weeks. They are going to do all sorts of tests like the stress-test, an echocardiogram, etc. He is still on medication to regulate his heart-beat, and we are hoping that they can ween him off that, or that his heart may actually have sorted itself out... Anyway, more on that after the doctor's appointment!

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Some misc pictures and a gift from my SECRET PAL!!

So, I actually filled the disk on my little digital camera this morning. I tried to take a picture of the sweet little braclet my secret pal got me (more on this in a minute), and realized I had a butt-ton of photos I've never even looked at. I'll post a few here. They are funny. One is REALLY bad picture of me (honestly, it;s AWEFUL!!), but funny. It's taken IMMEDIATLY following my defense in May (hense the DOCTOR thing). I look way dorky (ok, dorky-ier than usual), but it's so goofy, I had to post. Y'all should get a good laugh anyway.

Here's also a picture of my two very best friends (J- send me our Iowa pix and you'll make it here too!!). Poor Uncle Phil is rather usual we were likely making fun of him. But I'd guess he always turns red with a beautiful girl in his lap...(just a guess, mind you!!)

This last picture is of my sweet gift from my secret pal. Our DTC group from June each has a secret pal that sends us gifts each month. I have one who sends me gifts, and one I send gifts to. I was surprised the other day by a package in the mail. I put it on immediatly. The red thread is a throw-back to the ancient Chinese belief/saying that:

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break."

Thanks Secret Pal!!! I'll keep posting goodies as they come in. I'm very much looking forward to the packages!! And hopefully, our Wait will be eased by the fun !!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

"How much do they charge?"

I actually GOT this question today. Funny, I had just read a friend's post about how people ask uber dumb questions to people adopting, and I had been thinking how fortunate I was that I get very few (so far)... but today it happened. I was in the docotr's office and a nurse I'd never seen had my chart. She noticed that my doctor had written in my chart that we were adopting from China (she, my doctor, LOVED the term "paper pregnant" so she wrote that down!). Here's how it went:

nurse "So, you're adopting from China?"
me: "yes."
nurse: "Is it easy (to adopt) from there?"
me: (WTF??!!!) "um. well...I guess so. If you are married and willing to go through the very long fairly invasive process."
nurse:"How much do they (read:China) charge for the babies?"
me: totally dumb-struck. " mean, how much does the entire process cost, in dollars? A bit."

anyway, you get the idea. I basically told her I would rather have a child than a brand new car.

Also, my doctor basically told me they would monitor me and see how things go. I'm should try to lose some weight, and excersise more, then come back for more tests. Or I could be put on medication. no thank you. I'll walk my happy ass around the block more often. I want NOTHING TO DO WITH MEDICATION if I can help it. I go back in 3 months for more tests. Goody.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Fasting and bloodwork

So, a few months ago, I went for some minor bloodwork. I never heard anything back from the doctor so I ASSumed (ahem) that all was well. As it happend the other day I was in the doctor's office and said, "oh, what ever happened with my bloodwork?". She gets it out, and her eyes actually BUG OUT OF HER HEAD. She got all like, "Wow, can this be right?! This is AWEFUL!!". Basically some of the numbers were so high she thought I was either MAJORLY out of whack with my metabolic systems, OR the lab made MAJOR errors when recording. So this morning I am fasting, and then will have new bloodwork done to see WTF is up. It wasn't fun hearing all that, and I am dreading this morning. I'm not ready to start down that road of medical CRAP again. What I'd like is a nice clean bill of health when the doctor says "oh, these are fine. Nevermind. Oh, and lose about 15 pounds and you'll be fine". For heaven's sakes, Tod is still going to HIS doctor for stuff that hasn't quite goettne back to normal after HIS surgery... I suppose I should stop complaining and thank medical science... but I'll do that AFTER my lab work come back, thank you very much.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Depression and The Wait

So, I haven't blogged in a while. I think it's because I had a hard few weeks, and I haven't felt like going into it. Not on the phone with people (I owe many of you phone calls. I just haven't had the energy. I'm sorry for that.), not here, not in person. I guess I feel like I am in a kind of depression. I'm tired a lot, and feel like tucking my head under the covers. I think some of it is that my inter-personal relationships have been going downhill for some time, but now they seem to be taking a mega nosedive...Plus, and I hate to say it because I sound pathetic, but I hate The Wait. There I said it. I hate waiting. I spent a lovely Saturday with two VERY wonderful adoptive moms and their adorable daughters. It was really a blessing to be with them, but I also felt very sad. I then felt guilty. I was jealous. I loved seeing the girls playing together. I loved hearing the moms discuss issues they've been having, or milestones reached, etc. It was bitter-sweet for me. I think I asked myself for the first time this weekend why I desided that this (adoption) was a good idea. I began to doubt my/our choice...but then, I saw a picture of the two girls playing the next day and I remembered why we are WAITING... we are waiting for our baby girl from China 'cause that's where she is... and she is, too. Right now. She's in her bith-mom's tummmy. Maybe her birthmom is thinking "I hope this is a boy". Or maybe she's hoping even if the baby's a girl, she'll be able to care for her and keep her...but we know she won't keep her. We know she will be (lovingly perhaps?) wrapped in a blanket, and placed in a box and gently placed in a busy doorstep...or a planter, or in a market...and maybe the mom will leave a note. And all of this makes me sad. Because tha tmom is losing something very very precious. (AND I CAN'T WAIT TO BRING HER HOME). But that's how it happens, and that's how over 5,000 children from China make it to America each year... (If you don't beleive me, read Karin Evan's book "the Lost Daughters of China").

Hey, you were warned BEFORE you read this post!

Monday, July 17, 2006

We are REALLY official now

check this out!! Every DTC group is "lumped" together by month. As I have said before, this is important b/c you will get your referrals with these folks and likely travel with them too. Here's the web address of OUR GROUP!!! (We are just getting it off the ground...and yes, I am a part of it. Surprise, surprise).

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Have been at the Beach

I've been gone for the last week on a family vacation. I've not dropped off the blog-o-sphere. I'll post more on the trip and have some juicy pictures tomorrow or Monday. I have so much to catch up on here, I need a vacation AFTER my vacation.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

I thought the stalking was over...

So, I did it. I actually stalked a family around the Whole Foods Market this afternoon. I thought that once we had our documents in to China, I'd stop stalking people (The FedEx man is MUCH safer in my neighborhood these days!!).

Can I get a "oh yeah" from all of you out there who have done this very same thing? Yeah, you know who you are.

So, I noticed this family in the produce section. A BEAUTIFUL little girl (I'd say she was about 4) of Asian descent, and a Mom and Grandmother of VERY NOT Asian descent. So, ok, MAYBE she's married to a VERY Asain guy, but she didn't get ANY of her Mother's genes if that was the case, so I am under the impression the little girl was adopted. I kept trying to get the courage to speak with them, but I didn't know how to approach them (without sounding rude or like I was prying). Plus, I bet they get approached ALL THE TIME, and are probably sick of it. But I had a REALLY good excuse, right??!! So, I stalked them for the ENTIRE store... I wasn't really creepy about it, but I felt really silly. I wish I knew what to say. I just wanted to say "Hey, we're doing that too! Your daughter is beautiful. We travel next summer to meet our daughter."

I did read a nice post along these lines maybe a week or so ago from a fellow blogger and friend here in NC. I like the way she posted on an adoptive parent (of a Chinese daughter) approaching her and her daughter. But that didn't feel right, since I am NOT an adoptive mother yet. Anyway, has anyone actually experienced this? I need to look into this a bit more. Until then, I'll stalk from a distance.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Out of town - a little heavy

So, Tod's ancient grandfather (97!!) is dying and not expected to live the rest of the week, so we traveled to D.C. to have our final visit. I won't go into it, but sufice to say that Opa is not dying because he's sick. Or because he has heart problems. Or because he's got high cholesterol... He's one of the very few people left on this green earth that is actually dying OF OLD AGE. Last week he pulled his feeding tube out and told the doctors to "bugger off". He's at peace with his God. He's ready to die. (And I am a big supported of the "Right to Die" movement, under specific circumstances. In this case, it seems so much more humane to allow the family to gather around the bed and have the doctor give Opa something to allow him to "sleep" and never wake up, RATHER than him starving to death, which is how it's playing out since they won't let him ask the doctor's to help him die peacefully...but that's a whole 'nother topic I won't go any fatgher into). Anyway, that's why I haven't been around to post.

On another depressing note, this morning while I was reading some other Blog's related to China and I ran across this Blog that somehow put everything into perspective. Now, I can't read more than a few posts without getting annoyed, ticked off, or basically just asking WHY??!!! but if you are feeling rotten about your life, and you want to have everything put back into perspective, check out her blog. I Don't know her, but I don't hink she'd mind my posting it here. She'd like the attention. (As a side note, this has NOTHING to do with China or China related topics).

Ok, with that, I'm out to go to work. It finally stopped raining long enough for me to get something done.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Dossier Log-In-Date (LID Date): 6/15/2006

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!!!!!

Based on current trends and rumors, we can expect our referal next year at this time.

Now the WAIT begins in earnest.

Can I get a Yee-Haw?

So Baby Magic's Amma Mamma set this to me (oh, and that's my Mother, I'm talking about, for those of you who don't know). Here's the quiz, and then here's my score:

Are you a Yankee or a Rebel?

92% Dixie. Is General Lee your grandfather?!

Oh, also - LID's are coming in for early June DTCers...I'll post later if we get ours. One person who was DTC on the same day as us got a LID of July 15. Keep your fingers crossed!!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Nothing new 'round here

I'm posting for those of you who actually check this thingy. I'm simply adding that nothing new is happening around here, and frankly, I like it that way. Tod continues to amaze me with his increased stamina (I think he may be 90% back to "normal"), and we are in continued good spirits as well. My family is gearing up for our second annual Outer Banks Beach Extravaganza. Last year, with one notable exception, we all had a blast. And I think my brother had fun too, even given the trauma of the first full day there. This year, I think we will avoid deep waters, and play catch much much closer to the shore. I am so excited about this trip, I beleive I call my Mom everyday to tell her how excited I am...of course, I pretend it;s to talk about "logistics", but really, I'm just using that as an excuse. Besides, I don't think any "logisics" have been worked out, so she must have my number!

I did just get back from a vacation to Iowa. I had a LOT of fun, and I wish I could have stayed longer, but I hope to get back out there soon(ish). Tod was very sorry he couldn't go, so I'm hoping we can road-trip it this spring. I'll post pix when I get some back.

On the adoption front, I try not to crash CCAI's site checking to see if they've posted our LID every 3 minutes. So far nothing. The good news is it looks as though I'll make it to J and A's wedding!! But while I TRY to guess when we might travel, it's just that: a guess. We should know more by Christmas. Until then, just ignore me on this guessing game bit.

I also spent a lovely afternoon lunch with a new adoption pal and her beautiful daughter. I now have two adoption "buddies" with daughters from China...I hope they don't think I'm stalking them!! I am just really keen to get to know them better. It is important to me to meet other families who will be like ours, but I find it is hard at this point to make myself actually DO IT. This lunch get-together was really nice, and I knew she was a great person to get to know, which helped!!

Ok, well, I'm off now. I need to do something that's not sitting in front of the computer!!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

It's FINALLY Official

We are FINALLY DTC. Look, this prooves it!!!

"Your Dossier mailed to China on: 6/9/2006"

Next step? We wait for a LID (Log In Date). That's when our official countdown starts. But the DTC date, that's just priceless.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Check this out!

Got this from our agency today:

"Just wanted to let you know that I completed the critical review of your dossier and it looks great! So congratulations as I have moved your dossier to translation! It should be there about a week or so and then will be mailed to China, so be checking your email as we’ll send you a note when this happens."

On another note, I'm leaving tomorrow to brave the Wild West...err, well, the West. Or something approximating's big, it's flat, it has corn. That's right. I'm taking my vacation to lovely, wild, exciting.... (wait for it...) IOWA. Yup. Iowa. I didn't even know it was populated by humans, but my very dear friend Jen sez people live there year round. Even when it's know, like 9 months out of the year. So, anyhoo, this is my graduation gift to myself. Going to spend a GIRLS ONLY weekend with a great friend, drinking, yapping, shopping, and vegging. I KNOW I will not want to come back on Sunday, that's for sure. I can't wait!!!! So, I leave tomorrow, so don't expect anything here anytime before then. I may post some incriminating pictures early next week.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


So, many of you know that my "boss" (my advisor) for my PhD program and I DID NOT GET ALONG. He is a perfectly nice person, but our personalities just didn't mesh. AT ALL. We worked fine together as long as I let him call all the shots, and I didn't ask questions... humm. How do you thin kthat worked out?? Anyway, he's the "strong silent" type, and always seemed uncomfortable with having me as a student. I won't go into speculation why, but I've discussed it with a few of you, and you know why I THINK this is the case... Anyway, I digress. The entire point (if you can call it that!!) here is that in 4 years of working together, he RARELY showed any sort of personal affection, or words of encouragement. I did get a Chirstmas gift from him one year (in mid-January) was 2 FREE calendars. That's it. Ever. During the whole time I worked with him, I had some fairly dramtic events occur, including Tod's heart surgery AND my turning 30. Oh, and finishing my PhD!!! But, I am not writing to bash him. He's a good guy. Just not a "warm" guy.

This is in contrast to my new "boss". Ok, I LOVE working. I LOVE my new job. And my new "boss" (he's not really my boss, he's more like my "handler" to borrow my Mom's term.), is SUPER awesome. He's already taken me out to lunch like 4 times (me and other people, not like just me and's not like that!! Really. It's not!!), and given me everything I've asked for. Furthermore, look what was waiting for me at work today:
In fact, they are so BIG I almost couldn't fit them in my CAR!!! Aren't they lovely? It's nice to work with s group of people who appreciate me for ME!!

As an aside, no work from CCAI. I'm crossing my fingers that we hear something soon. Like today, preferably!!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Perfect card

Tod gave me the most perfect card yesterday. Read it, and see if you don't agree:

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

When Tod and I first stared talking about adoption we expected to have our lovely daughter 9 months after we finished our paperwork. HOWEVER, the WAIT times between DTC and Metcha Day have gotten longer (and longer). This was the timeline our agency gave us today: (Which is why WE HAVE NO CLUE WHEN WE WILL BRING BABY MAGIC HOME - although you'll notice here, if we are LID in early June, we'll be matched in May. LID later in June, matched in June). And this is why I wanted to get done as fast as we could... LID is everything!

Prediction of Matches between May & October of 2006
Wait time from LID to Child Referral

Month of Match LID Estimated Wait
May 6/7 – 6/15/05 11 mos.
June 6/16 – 6/23/05 12 mos.
July 6/24 – 6/30/05 13 mos.
August 7/1 – 7/10/05 14 mos.
September 7/11 – 7/19/05 15 mos.
October 7/20 – 7/31/05 16 mos.

Turned 30 today

Well, I turned 30 today. I am so happy about it; thanks to the adoption plans, this has been a LOVELY milestone. I had hoped to be DTC today, but we are still in critical review, so we'll hopefully be DTC next week. I'll CERTAINLY post it when we are.

I haven't been posting much b/c although very busy, I haven't been able to type effectively!! I took a chunk of my index finger off in a quilting accident (it happens!!), and typing has been slow and painful. I'll get back to posting more soon.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

We're IN!

Dossier received at CCAI: 5/23/2006
Now, we wait.

Also, for those of you near-by, or who need to bbe reminded: PArty at Chez Carley this Sunday 4:00 pm. Come eat our yummy food, and chat with our brilliant friends. Fun for all. Help us celebrate until we pass out or fall asleep!! Birthdays, graduation, and DTA oh MY!!!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Done. And done.

I'm done I'm done I'm done!!!! I passed my defense this afternoon!!!! I'm done I'm done!! WHOOO-HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND, we were DTA TODAY!! (Dossier to agency)!! China here we come!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Our paperwork gained a whole pound!

Just a VERY quick update on the status of our dossier. It is on its way home form the Chinese Embassy AS I TYPE!! In fact, LOOK at this:

May 19, 2006 8:04 AM On FedEx vehicle for delivery RALEIGH, NC

It is sitting SOMEWHERE in Raleigh!!! It weighed about 1 pound when I sent it, and it is now at 2 lbs! How many extra pages is that I wonder? Now I just need it in my hands, and I can get it turned around to our agency today? tomorrow? WHOO-HOO!!!! What a wonderful week!!

For those of you who are also adopting from China, have any guesses when we'll get our referal??? I'm hoping we'll have it in March? Would that be too much to ask???? (Ok, honestly, I'd love it in Decemebr, but that is NOT happening...Maybe February?)

Monday, May 15, 2006

Nothing new to report

So I won't. Other than I finish in a week and I am TOTALLY freaked out about "They" can't find my paperwork that states I am finishing next Monday. If that can't get sorted out, there are going to be MAJOR issues. Namely, TECHNICALLY I can't defend...and TECHNICALLY I can't get paid. TECHNICALLY they can kiss my a#! I'm done as of Monday. Paperwork or no.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Let the stalking commence

I am officially stalking the Fed-Ex guy. Our paper work went out today to be authenticated (the envelope weighed 0.85 pounds...that's ALL paper weight, my friend. And it cost over 25 dollars to send!). Exciting. I hope to have everything back by next Friday. The next step?? It's sending it to the agency! Well, I have to go over EVERYTHING one more time...then it goes off to the agency. And now I'm totally second guessing little things. I am afraid something isn't going to be correct...or that our pictures aren't good enough (honest!! there are so many rules!!). Anyway, for now, it's out of my hands! Literally.

As for everything else, Tod's still doing great. He's back at yoga, so he's slowly building his strenght back up. He's still so tired when he gets home he often naps, but he's doing great. His last cardiologist check-up went well, and they have another one scheduled for August, so Dr. J thinks there's nothing to be worried about yet with Tod's arrythmia. So, I try not to worry about it either. See, this is me, not worrying.

Me, well, I'm in the last throes of my dissertation. I hand it to my committee this week (Friday morning), and then defend May 22nd. Piece.of.cake. Oh, and then I go out for a drink...or 10. Maybe 20. I've never blacked out before from drinking...maybe I'll strive for that. And when they throw me out of the bar, they will be throwing out a newly nerded Ph.D.!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Cetification, check....

We got all our 11 documents certified (at the State level). Tomorrow our 14 docs go out for the LAST leg of their little journey before we send them off to CCAI... We ended up using a courier service. I went back and forth on this, but our service is cheap (a flat fee of 60 bucks!!) AND we should have everything back by Wednesday next week!!! I think the courier was the way to go.

On a total side note, Congrats to my little bro, who has finally picked a date for the wedding (or the weeding, as my Mom likes to call it!)!! I hope Baby Magic can make it.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Warning, RUDE content!

Have you ever? Game - From a friends' blog but I'll put in my own answers.

Taken a picture naked? Does this mean I was naked when I TOOk the picture?
Made out with a member of the same sex? What the hell kind of game is this?
Danced in front of your mirror? Of course.
Told a lie? Sure, every time my boss asks: how’s it going?
Gotten in a car with people you just met? Not that I can think of. I’m not stupid.
Been in a fist fight? If siblings don’t count, then no.
Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Um, yeah…or, well, he SAID he didn’t love me anymore…
Been arrested? Gads no.
Left your house without telling your parents? Nope. No point. No reason, and no where to go!
Ditched school to do something more fun? I’m sorry to say no.. But when college rolled around, I was a skipping machine.
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes.
Seen someone die? Only once.
Kissed a picture? Yes. Way back when I was dumb and in love for the first time.
Slept in until 3? Yeah, back when I’d stay up until 6 am playing Civilization.
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes, but not often enough.
Played dress up? Sure. But not anymore.
Felt an earthquake? Nope.
Touched a snake? Yes.
Ran a red light? Yes. I live in Raleigh, it's a pre-rec.
Had detention? Only once. It was for back-talking a teacher. Go figure. The jackass was wrong.
Been in a car accident? a few fender-benders. Nothing really serious. And none of them were my fault.
Pole danced? No WAY! I can't even imagine the embarrassment.
Been lost? In many ways.
Sang karaoke? A couple of times. Mainly in Thailand…Gewn Stephani I am not.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? see answer to karaoke question.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Can I just say, my nick name in college was GUSH…
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yup, and I can't wait to do it again with my daughter
Kissed in the rain? Once or twice
Sang in the shower? All the damn time
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? Hell no! I’ve done some dumb things with my tongue, but NEVER that!!
Ever gone to school partially naked? No.
Sat on a roof top? Yeah. A bunch when I was younger.
Played chicken? Maybe once. But I was NOT driving.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no.
Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? (Not lately.) I’ll do one better, I got PROPOSED TO by a total stranger!! He was hot too…but he was English, it never would have worked.
Broken a bone? Nothing major..
Mooned/flashed someone? Does my husband count?
Forgotten someone’s name? Yeah, like my number 6…
Slept naked? All the time
Blacked out from drinking? Nope.
Played a prank on someone? Yes. But not a mean one, and NEVER one where anyone would get hurt.
Felt like killing someone? Oh yeah, see the picture question.
Made a parent cry? I have no doubt I still do that…
Cried over someone? God, yes..I think my eyes are still red from that.
Had sex more than 10 times in a weekend? yeah, well, he was THAT cute!
Had/Have a dog? Oh, man YES.
Been in a band? In high school…and NOT in a cool band.
Drank 25 sodas in a day? No way.
Caused a fire? Um, yes, in the kitchen, but I put it out before it got bad!