Tuesday, March 28, 2006

About loss...and about found

As a select few of you out there know, I recently "lost" something of value. Well, valuable to me, anyway, but not to anyone else on this green earth! It's been ugly, but life goes on. Having lost that "thing" (and to be clear, that's just what it was. a THING. ), I have been thinking about something else I have also recently lost: my best friend. Something more of you know is that last April, my very best friend and I had a "fight", and parted ways. I do feel as though I've worked to correct this, I'd forgiven, and even forgotten a little, but well, she hasn't returned any of my phone calls over the past few months...so I assume it's over. Maybe it's been hard on her too, but it's been aweful for me. And even though I've not spoken to her for months, my first instinct was to call her yesterday to tell her this embarassingly aweful thing I had done by losing my manuscript (yes, the one I've been writing day and night. I "mis-placed" it...and CAN NOT FIND IT to save my LIFE. The worst was telling my major advisor "uh, yeah, so that manuscript you worked on all weeekend to correct, well, I sort of lost it...") anyway, I digress.

So, moving back to my point, I lost my friendship with someone I loved dearly. However, in the last year, I've made more new friends (and even lost a few of those!) than I had in years. I even looked in new places to find people that I REALLY wanted to get to know, and have continued to be friends with them. I LOVE these new friends. (Interestingly, 3 of them have names that start with B!!) And they are not my "usual" kind of people.
(I generally run with a more rough crowd. Nice? We hate nice.) Don't get me wrong, they are all VERY wonderful, which great big hearts. These ladies are all just SO damn nice. And just genuinly GOOD people. And I truely feel special to have them in my life. I guess by losing my best friend, it allowed me to reach out to (or accept) others, which I had not been doing for whatever reason before I lost Beth. Now, I have (found!!) these lovely NEW friends in my life. I am so tired of loss. I need to focus on the found. So, thanks. THANKS TONS for letting me find you, and not giving up on me. You are all wonderful people. (Now, if only one of you could find my manuscript... LOL.)

1 comment:

Bridget said...

Awww, I made it into your journal! I feel so honored. And, I have been equally as blessed to befriend you in the last year too!