Monday, July 31, 2006

Fasting and bloodwork

So, a few months ago, I went for some minor bloodwork. I never heard anything back from the doctor so I ASSumed (ahem) that all was well. As it happend the other day I was in the doctor's office and said, "oh, what ever happened with my bloodwork?". She gets it out, and her eyes actually BUG OUT OF HER HEAD. She got all like, "Wow, can this be right?! This is AWEFUL!!". Basically some of the numbers were so high she thought I was either MAJORLY out of whack with my metabolic systems, OR the lab made MAJOR errors when recording. So this morning I am fasting, and then will have new bloodwork done to see WTF is up. It wasn't fun hearing all that, and I am dreading this morning. I'm not ready to start down that road of medical CRAP again. What I'd like is a nice clean bill of health when the doctor says "oh, these are fine. Nevermind. Oh, and lose about 15 pounds and you'll be fine". For heaven's sakes, Tod is still going to HIS doctor for stuff that hasn't quite goettne back to normal after HIS surgery... I suppose I should stop complaining and thank medical science... but I'll do that AFTER my lab work come back, thank you very much.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Depression and The Wait

So, I haven't blogged in a while. I think it's because I had a hard few weeks, and I haven't felt like going into it. Not on the phone with people (I owe many of you phone calls. I just haven't had the energy. I'm sorry for that.), not here, not in person. I guess I feel like I am in a kind of depression. I'm tired a lot, and feel like tucking my head under the covers. I think some of it is that my inter-personal relationships have been going downhill for some time, but now they seem to be taking a mega nosedive...Plus, and I hate to say it because I sound pathetic, but I hate The Wait. There I said it. I hate waiting. I spent a lovely Saturday with two VERY wonderful adoptive moms and their adorable daughters. It was really a blessing to be with them, but I also felt very sad. I then felt guilty. I was jealous. I loved seeing the girls playing together. I loved hearing the moms discuss issues they've been having, or milestones reached, etc. It was bitter-sweet for me. I think I asked myself for the first time this weekend why I desided that this (adoption) was a good idea. I began to doubt my/our choice...but then, I saw a picture of the two girls playing the next day and I remembered why we are WAITING... we are waiting for our baby girl from China 'cause that's where she is... and she is, too. Right now. She's in her bith-mom's tummmy. Maybe her birthmom is thinking "I hope this is a boy". Or maybe she's hoping even if the baby's a girl, she'll be able to care for her and keep her...but we know she won't keep her. We know she will be (lovingly perhaps?) wrapped in a blanket, and placed in a box and gently placed in a busy doorstep...or a planter, or in a market...and maybe the mom will leave a note. And all of this makes me sad. Because tha tmom is losing something very very precious. (AND I CAN'T WAIT TO BRING HER HOME). But that's how it happens, and that's how over 5,000 children from China make it to America each year... (If you don't beleive me, read Karin Evan's book "the Lost Daughters of China").

Hey, you were warned BEFORE you read this post!

Monday, July 17, 2006

We are REALLY official now

check this out!! Every DTC group is "lumped" together by month. As I have said before, this is important b/c you will get your referrals with these folks and likely travel with them too. Here's the web address of OUR GROUP!!! (We are just getting it off the ground...and yes, I am a part of it. Surprise, surprise).

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Have been at the Beach

I've been gone for the last week on a family vacation. I've not dropped off the blog-o-sphere. I'll post more on the trip and have some juicy pictures tomorrow or Monday. I have so much to catch up on here, I need a vacation AFTER my vacation.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

I thought the stalking was over...

So, I did it. I actually stalked a family around the Whole Foods Market this afternoon. I thought that once we had our documents in to China, I'd stop stalking people (The FedEx man is MUCH safer in my neighborhood these days!!).

Can I get a "oh yeah" from all of you out there who have done this very same thing? Yeah, you know who you are.

So, I noticed this family in the produce section. A BEAUTIFUL little girl (I'd say she was about 4) of Asian descent, and a Mom and Grandmother of VERY NOT Asian descent. So, ok, MAYBE she's married to a VERY Asain guy, but she didn't get ANY of her Mother's genes if that was the case, so I am under the impression the little girl was adopted. I kept trying to get the courage to speak with them, but I didn't know how to approach them (without sounding rude or like I was prying). Plus, I bet they get approached ALL THE TIME, and are probably sick of it. But I had a REALLY good excuse, right??!! So, I stalked them for the ENTIRE store... I wasn't really creepy about it, but I felt really silly. I wish I knew what to say. I just wanted to say "Hey, we're doing that too! Your daughter is beautiful. We travel next summer to meet our daughter."

I did read a nice post along these lines maybe a week or so ago from a fellow blogger and friend here in NC. I like the way she posted on an adoptive parent (of a Chinese daughter) approaching her and her daughter. But that didn't feel right, since I am NOT an adoptive mother yet. Anyway, has anyone actually experienced this? I need to look into this a bit more. Until then, I'll stalk from a distance.