Friday, August 11, 2006

A post all about Phil...#2

So, I guess it's nice when you see your name on someone's blog. It's like, hey, they like me! So, I have obviously not posted enough on certain people lately and said-person is upset. So, in order to make the aforementioned person feel loved, here is a post, all about Phil, part 2.

Phil would like to be president one day so he can control the world. On his "good days" he realizes there's no way anyone would vote him into office, so he says that Baby Magic has to be president (so Phil can run the world from behind the scenes, kind of like Dick Cheney...only Baby Magic would be smart enough not to listen to Phil. And she'd be better looking too.).

He is going through what I like to call "The Life Change". (Once he reads this I will be in BIG trouble, so I hope you can all remember this and know that, even when I post a disclaimer LATER, THIS IS TRUE, and NOT the disclaimer I am sure I will have to post later under duress...). No, Phil is not having hot flashes, or mood swings, or sadness over his inability to bear children... Ok, yes he is. (Especially mood swings). He's left his job to pursue sanity. So far...well, so far I think he's doing well. Mostly. But like hot flashes, it comes and goes.

I met Phil in highschool. He was a huge dork. He was cute, and very funny, and really smart. Things he tries to hide to this day, but I know the truth. The most embarassing thing I know about from his past is that he is afraid of sharks, and once his sister(s) put a picture of a shark on the bottom of the toilet seat. I guess he's never quite recovered since he still has to pee in a bottle. Toilets just freak him out too much. It's true.

I will post more on this later...I have a call into a good friend for more "Phil Dirt"... haa haa. get it? fill dirt? (Ok, I never said I was funny!!).

Feel free to add to this post down there where it sez comments. Leave us a story or two. I'll save them. You know, in case he really DOES run for president.

(As an aside, I was looking for an old yearbook photo pf Sir P...if anyone has one, send it to me.)


phil said...

i feel there need to be some corrections to this little attempt to belittle and discredit me.
first of all, nesh is a turd. now that that fact has been established i will move on to the corrections.
i do NOT want to run for president. i couldn't stand up to the media scrutiny without throwing a chair at someone. plus i wouldn't be able to handle the background checks. i did inhale.
i DO, however, want to overthrow the government. but, two months of air force basic training (most of it spent in a knee brace) don't exactly qualify me to run a coup de tate. i will however try to get baby magic in office. it would be nice to see someone represent the little guy for once. i have lots of good ideas but not enough money to get them heard.
secondly, i am not going through menopause. i'm just making some changes that need to be made or i'll snap and kill everyone. i'm not having hot flashes. it's august in north carolina and i'm hairy like an ape. of course i'm hot. my inability to have children is due to a lack of a willing partner (and a lack of desire to have kids). plus, where would the fetus gestate? in a box? the job part is true. a chef no more.
third. my sisters did tape the pic of the shark onto the toilet seat. i was about 6 yrs. old and "jaws" had ben on hbo like a million times by that point. it was the scariest thing i'd ever seen at that point. nesh was a dork in high school, too.
she was in the band. (i was in jazz band my senoir year, shhhhh!) nesh was in the marching band though. much worse. i refuse to comment on the pee in a bottle thing, other than this; sometimes, late at night, the minefield of cats and dogs is a harrowing walk when you're really sleepy.
so that's all for now. once again, nesh is slandering me, for reasons i can't comprehend. jealousy is my guess. dollar phil, out!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like nothing but rationalizations to me, Dollar Phil. I guess Nesh-nesh hit a nerve or 2....

Anonymous said...
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