Haven't I posted like 10 times on this very topic? Isn't it ALL the same?? It may be. So feel free to skip this post, I don't think I have anything NEW to say. Just the same old thing, maybe dressed up a little different...you've been warned!
So, I had this dream last night that my now ex-best friend called me to chat. In my dream it was both exciting AND upsetting, mainly because it was one of those dreams that was so realistic that when I woke up I felt that it had actually occured. As a little back story here, I give up on people as well as Plasmodiophora give up on their hosts, which is to say - I don't. Even when it is OBVIOUS I should. If my ex called me today, I'd talk to him and want to know he's doing well. Honestly! If B called me today, I would be both upset AND excited to hear from her. I considered calling her today, of course, but fortunately someone smarter than myself had encouraged me to delete her phone number months ago...Anyway, this all brought me to thinking about people and keeping in touch with current friends. I have a friend whom I see infrequently, and honestly do not know terribly well, but she is a wonderful person. I like her. She is bad about returning emails (a big part of that is she's a SAHM of an 18 month old), and occationally I think "Is it worth it to pursue this?". So far, I would say yes, definitly. But of other friendships, sometimes I wonder if it's worth "holding onto" them if it feels like maybe the time has passed, and that friendship isn't really worth saving. I go back to this ALL THE TIME, but I miss B. I miss being her friend, but that's a friendship that ended and I need to move the F on. But will I know when to move on in the furture from friends that aren't "good friends"? I think it's obvious in a recent case anyway, the answer is no...but maybe I'm learning. I am at the VERY least making some new friends, and there's something I never did before. Perhaps spreading the friendship wealth around is a better way to do things than having 2 or 3 REALLY REALLY good friends. Of course, I still have those 2 or 3 REALLY good friends, but now, I actually have become friendly with other people!! For me, it is a more "responsible" way to handle my social life. It must have something to do with the coming/onset of Motherhood. Do you learn to become more responsible because you are going to be a perent, or it is because you going to become a prent you become more responsible?
So far, I don't have an answer, but I do know, I have made more friends because I am becoming a parent, and so far, that's pretty good.