Friday, August 31, 2007

rant! (includes foul language)

So, I just finished reading a blog that I really enjoy from an AP (adoptive parent) of a little boy from Vietnam. Much of the time the posts are thought provoking, well written, and I truly like reading her blog. But tonight got me hot under the collar. While she posted on a topic that makes a lot of people get hot, (and I love a good discussion!), I felt that for the most part she was basically putting-down parents who switched from China (or other programs) to Vietnam. Or parents who make gender choices (i.e. say they only want a girl). Ok, Ok, It was her opinion, so who was I to get upset by it? Well, it may be her opinion, but it make me think hard about it, and, frankly, I didn't really like her view point. I think it sucked. I am basically a "live and let live" kind of person. If you want to adopt a child from say Korea, but then find out you can't because you are labeled "obese", does it make you a bad person if you switch to another country, say Vietnam? No, I don't think so, but it's also not any of my business! I fee that if children who need good loving homes are matched with families that will provide good loving homes for them, then everyone wins.

I also left a long comment on her blog; something I rarely ever do. And I haven't decided if I want to link her blog here or not. I don't know her, and am not a celebrity anywhere, and certainly NOT in blog-land, so I don't feel right linking to her post, BUT, if you are interested in reading her post on "gender selection in adoption", then comment on this post, and I'll email you the link. If you agree with me, or even if you don't, her point/post is a good read. (***I have added her link - down lower- b/c it is a very worth-while-read and a very important issue***)

Also, I have a question for you PAPs or APs out there. When you decide to create a transcultural/transracial family, does that mean you have to LOVE the country your child comes from BEFORE you adopt from that country??? I chose Vietnam in less than a week, when we were choosing our second country for our second adoption. I had studied and loved the history and people of Vietnam in my college days, but hadn't thought much about it in my adult life. We had briefly looked in to VN when we started the China process, but VN was closed. That made the choice easy. China it was. We would have gone to China for #2 IF it didn't look like we'd have to wait another 5 years for that to become a reality. So, with very little forethought, we chose VN. I have since begun to read about the history/people/culture, etc. again. And to fall in love with VN again. But honestly, while we were waiting to START our paperchase for Baby Magic in China, I read anything and everything about China. I read Chinese news (in English, of course!!), I read books, I learned about the holidays, the culture, etc. For YEARS I studied it. And now I feel cheated. China's making selfish political choices to "save face" and my family and my friends are caught in this political stupidity. We are hurting and waiting and are hoping and praying that we get to bring our baby home before China closes the program, or puts it on hold again. I'm MAD at China now. Should we pull out of China b/c I no longer love the political environment? or because I am sick to death of this damn process (where, I might add, we've sunk a ton of money, not to mention the HUGE emotional investment!)? Hell no. Does this mean that b/c I didn't LOVE Vietnam for years immediately proceeding our VN adoption, I'm not going to be a good parent to my Vietnamese-born child? Fuck no. And anyone who says otherwise can f-off.

Ok, I've changed my mind. Here's the post I was talking about: "gender selection in adoption" .


Thursday, August 30, 2007

Back at it

It's amazing what a little good news will do! I'm feeling human and more like myself today, partly b/c we had such good news yesterday (wheew!) and partly b/c we had a nice adult dinner with friends last night... um, let me rephrase that, as it sounds as though there was some nudity and possibly some naughtiness involved along with the food... no, just 2 professional couples out to a nice meal with intelligent conversation. Don't get me wrong, we have wonderful meals with wonderful people often, but they usually involve lots of alcohol, bawdy behavior, and foul language (my favorite kind)! Last night was a "real" out on the town sort of evening. Tod and I don't tend to spend that kind of money on meals (or anything for that matter, other than the adoption stuff!!), so it was nice to go to a nice place with friends and just chat.

Ironically enough, I've wanted to get out more with friends and just with Tod too, to meals, dinner, a bar, etc. BEFORE we become parents to a new baby! However, with the adoption costs what they are (well, what the TWO adoptions have cost!), we've been pretty cash-poor of late.

Anyway, I'm back. I should be up and blogging about the mundane, the insane, and the lack of rain real soon.

What's coming up next? my rant about agencies that can't bother to answer emails asking for information...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Great News!! (UPDATED)

We're doing great. The appointment went really well. I'll post more later, but for now; Tod's NOT worse (we were afraid he was), there IS a murmur, but it's not to the point that the doc is worried about it now that he's seen the echocardiogram. We've been told to come back in one year. YIPPY!!

Ok, here's what happened: Tod's cardiologist picked up on Tod's murmur at his last (recent) appointment, and was afraid it was worsening, rather than better (which was of course, the point of surgery!! to make it BETTER!). Dr. Jimmy wanted to be extra careful that things weren't taking a nose-dive so he ordered more tests. Yesterday were those tests. He looked at the results, and bada-bing, things are not worsening at all. They are "staying the course".

The bright side, no surgery on the near horizon! Tod won't miss the trip to pick up Baby V. We WILL get to spend a week on vacation in New Orleans this November...

on the down side, it is likely he will have surgery again in the not too distant future. BUT by then, we'll have OLDER kids, not babies, and we'll have some time to prepare both emotionally, physically, and financially! Plus, Baby Magic and Baby V's Grand Big Mamma is now retired, so SHE can take care of the little ones!! ;->

Today's the day

Well, we will have our appointment at 4:00 today. I'm trying to stay positive, and keeping busy. I'll try to post tonight (but our connection at home has been spotty). Otherwise, I'll post tomorrow sometime about how today goes. Thanks again to all of you who have emailed or called with your support. It helps more than you know.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

still here

We're still here... and all in all, we're doing ok. We had a minute amount of good news on the VN adoption front: our referral time line has gotten shorter - whooo hooo! More on this when I know more!! Also, we have just had our house photographed for a Raleigh Home Tour happening in September. Crazy! It looked fabulous for like a whole day!!! The pics are for the brochure the committee puts together before the tour, and entices people to come by. We are expecting anywhere from 200-250 people to traipse through our house. I'll take some photos of the house insides when the time rolls around. We did a "dry run" yesterday (before the photographer came), and the place looked beautiful. My new orchid in the living room didn't hurt either. ;->

Tod's doing pretty well, all things considered. He was in mourning for about a week after his last appointment, but is doing better now. We just need to survive until Wednesday (our appointment is at 4:00, BTW. I'll try to post that evening on how it goes). After Wednesday, well, life will go on. As my wonderful boss said to me the other day "life is just a shit sandwich". Indeed. I just keep trying to focus on the positive. The new baby on the way. Baby Magic, who is somewhere over the rainbow (in a bloody-minded communist country)...

I try to remember to just breathe.

Ok, this is me.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


Thanks for everyone who's emailed/called/commented to offer support. I am just jumping on briefly to let everyone know we have to wait one more week before we know anything for sure... LONG WEEK, but we're hanging in, mostly. My folks are in for a visit and that is helping a lot. We're having a great time, and enjoying everything but the weather. I'll be back later this week if I have any news.

Friday, August 17, 2007

out of touch

sorry I've been out of touch lately. I've been super busy with work, and worse yet, this week we got some bad news. Tod had his 1.5 year check up for his post-heart surgery, and things don't look good. I'm not prepared to discuss it further, but we'll know more Wednesday afternoon. Until then, I need some quiet family time. Please feel free to email me or call me if you want to catch up, but until next week, I need some "down" time.

Monday, August 13, 2007

All over the place

I'm desperately trying to blog with a spotty internet connection, too much work to catch up on before my big meeting this afternoon. I'm all over the place. I've been working hard around the house, with more and more projects I want to finish, the further I get into the projects I've currently working on!

I have been spending some good quality time with some wonderful ladies lately, and wanted to give a quick shout out to J and her twins (thank you thank you for your help. I'd love to get together again soon!), Jen from BFE, Iowa (had a GREAT time sorry you had to leave so soon!), Heather (the garden looks awesome!,)and Kathryn and Chris (always always lovely to get together with you both!!). I've been reminded lately that life is what you make of it. If you surround yourself with wonderful people, then the sad/bad/mad days go away much faster. I love the discussions with friends, I love the "we're in this together-ness" I've been having. I can't WAIT to bring our baby from Vietnam (for whom I still don't REALLY have a good nick name ...)home and into this wonderful community of people.

Work will slow down for me after this week (a little any way!)and I hope to get back to blogging with more regularity. I am also looking forward to 2 full days off from work this week!!! I hope to spend one day with a fellow adoptive Mom, and the next day relaxing and sewing. I can't wait!!

Hope everyone out there in blog land had a nice weekend. I'll be back online soon!!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

I-171H - Hanoi VN

Got it!! After much confusion, and too many fingerprint appointments, WE FINALLY HAVE OUR LAST piece of the dossier for VN. We're on the waiting/referral list already, but now everything will go to get translated. The final step before being sent to VN.

Sorry I haven't blogged much. My internet is out at home, and I've been OUT IN THE FIELD all week in over 100 degree heat... no time to even check email. I'm back (mostly) now, so I hope to have something to day soon!!

Don't give up on me yet, folks!

Monday, August 06, 2007

For real!

Ok, no time to blog, but did want to mention I did indeed hand deliver our dossier to our agency Friday morning. It was a wonderful experience!! Gail (our program director) even went over it with me so I knew everything was in order!! We are now officially on the LIST!!!

More later.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Dossier - DONE!

Ladies and Gents, it is done. Tomorrow, I hope to hand deliver our dossier to our agency myself. Vietnam, HERE WE COME!!!

I have some complaints about our State branch of CIS (yes, MORE complaints), but I don't have time to post them today... suffice to say when once we had NO fingerprint appointments, now we have two separate appointments...when it rains, it pours.