So, I just finished reading a blog that I really enjoy from an AP (adoptive parent) of a little boy from Vietnam. Much of the time the posts are thought provoking, well written, and I truly like reading her blog. But tonight got me hot under the collar. While she posted on a topic that makes a lot of people get hot, (and I love a good discussion!), I felt that for the most part she was basically putting-down parents who switched from China (or other programs) to Vietnam. Or parents who make gender choices (i.e. say they only want a girl). Ok, Ok, It was her opinion, so who was I to get upset by it? Well, it may be her opinion, but it make me think hard about it, and, frankly, I didn't really like her view point. I think it sucked. I am basically a "live and let live" kind of person. If you want to adopt a child from say Korea, but then find out you can't because you are labeled "obese", does it make you a bad person if you switch to another country, say Vietnam? No, I don't think so, but it's also not any of my business! I fee that if children who need good loving homes are matched with families that will provide good loving homes for them, then everyone wins.
I also left a long comment on her blog; something I rarely ever do. And I haven't decided if I want to link her blog here or not. I don't know her, and am not a celebrity anywhere, and certainly NOT in blog-land, so I don't feel right linking to her post, BUT, if you are interested in reading her post on "gender selection in adoption", then comment on this post, and I'll email you the link. If you agree with me, or even if you don't, her point/post is a good read. (***I have added her link - down lower- b/c it is a very worth-while-read and a very important issue***)
Also, I have a question for you PAPs or APs out there. When you decide to create a transcultural/transracial family, does that mean you have to LOVE the country your child comes from BEFORE you adopt from that country??? I chose Vietnam in less than a week, when we were choosing our second country for our second adoption. I had studied and loved the history and people of Vietnam in my college days, but hadn't thought much about it in my adult life. We had briefly looked in to VN when we started the China process, but VN was closed. That made the choice easy. China it was. We would have gone to China for #2 IF it didn't look like we'd have to wait another 5 years for that to become a reality. So, with very little forethought, we chose VN. I have since begun to read about the history/people/culture, etc. again. And to fall in love with VN again. But honestly, while we were waiting to START our paperchase for Baby Magic in China, I read anything and everything about China. I read Chinese news (in English, of course!!), I read books, I learned about the holidays, the culture, etc. For YEARS I studied it. And now I feel cheated. China's making selfish political choices to "save face" and my family and my friends are caught in this political stupidity. We are hurting and waiting and are hoping and praying that we get to bring our baby home before China closes the program, or puts it on hold again. I'm MAD at China now. Should we pull out of China b/c I no longer love the political environment? or because I am sick to death of this damn process (where, I might add, we've sunk a ton of money, not to mention the HUGE emotional investment!)? Hell no. Does this mean that b/c I didn't LOVE Vietnam for years immediately proceeding our VN adoption, I'm not going to be a good parent to my Vietnamese-born child? Fuck no. And anyone who says otherwise can f-off.
Ok, I've changed my mind. Here's the post I was talking about: "gender selection in adoption" .