Thursday, January 17, 2008

China - the dirty word

Ok, sorry. I'm SOOOO over China right now. I've been saying that for sometime, although maybe not so blatantly. Am I still excited about Baby Magic? Yes, very much. Are we going to keep waiting another YEAR before we bring her home? You bet. Can I keep the same emotional attachment to the idea of the adoption, the country, etc? NO way. I've shelved it. Kind of like a really really good friend (hum, am I referring to someone I know?? I wonder) that sort of drops out of your life. Do I think about her? I mean, it - the adoption - hell yeah. Do I sit around pining over the "loss". NOT ANYMORE. Baby Magic STILL has a place in my life, my heart, and our home, but right now she is no longer real to me. I used to think of her as a REAL baby; I would think of her in her orphanage, making friends (do 6 mo olds make friends??), bonding with her nannies, learning to smile... now, when I think of her she is only a dream. I've boxed up all her clothes, her toys, and all the wonderful gifts Kelly gave me. They are all out-of-sight in my attic. I simply CAN NOT keep the same emotional attachment that I had OVER 2 YEARS AGO when we started. We just passed another LID month anniversary. I don't even know what number it is. Sure, I could count, by WHY? Another month, no end in sight. Check THIS out: just got this from our China (only) agency:

As of October 2007, the CCAA has approximately 30,000 dossiers waiting to be matched.
The CCAA received fewer than 300 dossiers from all over the world in December 2007, the fewest in the past ten years. The CCAA also closed over 100 files upon request of waiting families. (This means that families -waiting like us -have pulled out of China)

Our agency also said that they expect more people to pull out of China, and that there will be fewer and fewer dossier SENT to China. The whole bloody situation is so awful. I really feel for families who want to start the adoption process but haven't yet, those who HAVE started and are waiting, and those who would LIKE to do a second adoption, but are unsure of what is happening in the current adoption world. China's wait time is at 3 years, folks. Russia, pretty much closed, Guatemala (#2 for international adoptions) is officially closed with 3,000 kids in limbo (matched but families can't travel and don't know if they will anytime soon)... There are also Vietnam programs closing, or simply no longer taking new applications... WTF??!!!

Ok, well, I do hope to have some good news SOON, so don't TOTALLY give up on me. But it does kinda get old saying the same damn thing over and over.

nope, no news.

No, haven't heard anything.

Yes, he's getting older. No I can't JUST GO AND PICK HIM UP.

No, we haven't heard anything yet.

Yes, I'm tired of waiting.


Kathryn said...

i know. it will take 3.5 years for them to get through the backlog at the current pace. rq has posted some interesting numbers, showing decreasing adoptions over past 3 it could take even longer. at least we're closer toward the front of the line at this point, though even still i'm beginning to think we won't meet noelle until 2010. i have to turn my attention to other things, too. it is a loss any way you look at it.
one day...

Sheri said...

If I was with a China-only agency right now, I would be asking them: what is your business plan to stay solvent long enough for me to bring home my child??

I'd also be investigating switching to the SN program, or a concurrent adoption, embryo adoption, surrogacy, you name it. Becoming a mother in a timely manner is far more important (to me) than the process used to arrive there.

My heart goes out to all y'all caught in this terrible bind. For both my daughters from China, I was lucky enough to wait only 8 months from LID to Referral... and every month was agonizing, as things changed constantly, even then. I cannot IMAGINE what you are going thru. Blessings!!

Sheri said...

(which you've clearly done - congrats on your VN referral - hope you travel SOON!!)

Susan & Matt said...

I couldn't imagine how you feel. I thought my wait of 8 months was unbearable. Packng up your things sounds very reasonable to me. It would be very hard to look at them everyday and have a constant reminder it could be another year.
I really hope that something happens to speed up the process.
Hope your Veitnam moves along also.