Wednesday, April 23, 2008

nothing. not a damn thing.

really. nothing to report. I'm back in a "funk". I've come down off my "trip/vacation/work" high, and am back home. Home is good, but a mess. I have packages from JANUARY still sitting on my dinning room table. That's right. I haven't even addressed them; they just sit there. I think MAYBE this week I'll mail them. I just haven't had the desire to do a damn thing. I definitely go through periods where I'm better than I am now and even get some stuff done (that isn't work. by some miracle, my work has only gotten better since I've been depressed about the NO GD TRAVEL APPROVAL... ), but I've stopped going out socially. I've stopped talking to ANYONE on the phone. I haven't been reading blogs; not even my friends blogs. I do still eat, bathe, sleep occasionally, and keep my clothes in some semblance of order, but that's about it. I even walked out the door today and as I was driving to work realized that I hadn't even brushed my hair. Oh well. Like anyone would notice, but still, that's pretty bad.

I have said it before, and I am saying it again. I AM SO TIRED OF THIS F-ING ADOPTION PROCESS. I AM TIRED OF NOT KNOWING ANYTHING. I AM TIRED OF BEING IN THE DARK. I AM TIRED OF WATCHING MY SON GROW UP IN PICTURES...

Ok, enough morose blogging for the day. But hey, no one is forcing you to read this, right? Next time i will endeavor to have something positive to say. Or at least pictures of puppies, or rainbows...something happy. really. I will try!

4 comments:

Jill said...

I understand how you feel. I have been there before and am sure will be there again soon. I wish there was more I could do.

Andrea said...

I hear you and totally understand how you are feeling. The difference in my case is that I'm not able to do anything at work either (ugh - that is starting to catch up with me.) Oh, and the forgetting to brush your hair - OK, that is pretty bad! :)

Here's hoping things turn around soon!

Heather C said...

I totally know your feelings, I was that way during my wait. Yep I forgot to comb my hair. I even got half way to work one day when I realized I didn't have any shoes on. At least you are getting pictures, it killed me not getting to see her grow plus it's hard now trying to put together her babybook and missing months of her life. Anyway HUGE HUGS and if you need to talk email me

The Gregs said...

Ugh. I hear you. I have new hope for next week, though.