Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Folks in my corner - and misc A-Mom stuff

I have such wonderful people around me. I am so lucky. Thanks to all of you who have emailed me recently (and called!!). I'm TRYING to get back to every one.

T and I are still working out the "best" way of managing our new family. And frankly, I don't have a lot of "free time", so email, phone calls, and blogging has gone to the way-side. And to all you detractors out there, THAT'S B/C I TAKE CARE OF MY BEAUTIFUL SON EVERY NIGHT AFTER MY 9 -10 HOUR WORK DAYS. And I do a damn good job. This little guy is THRIVING. He is one of those kids who likes to have CONSTANT attention, and frankly, I give it to him. I hate it when he cries. I don't even like it when he fusses and PRETENDS to cry. SO when we are together, I give him 100 percent of my attention, and if he wants to be held, I hold him. Even if that means I get NOTHING done. Because that's what he's telling me he needs. And hey, I am

new at this, right? He's still learning what we have to offer, and where he stands with us, so I figure he spent enough of his life WANTING to be held or entertained, and very likely NOT getting what he needed (or at least, not AS MUCH as he needed, clearly!! even though he was obviously well taken care of at his orphanage.) My wonderful Big Mama and I disagree on how to handle a needy kiddo. She ALWAYS gives me the best advice, and it is good advice she gives me with this issue too, but I am not yet ready to follow it. There may come a day where I let him sit and cry while I make dinner, but so far, I figure that what he wants is sort of trumping what I want (and let's face it, I can afford to skip a meal or two! LOL). And most of the nights I keep him (T teaches yoga in the evenings, so I always take over immediately after work, and keep the baby all the way through bed-time, which is what has been working out for us these days, b/c I am unwilling to give up my work schedule.) we spend our entire nights together playing and doing whatever HE wants - which is ME entertaining him (we read, or take walks, or mainly just hang out). What this does NOT give me much time for is the "extra stuff" I used to do when I got home, like, as I alluded to priorly, phone calls, email, eating, socializing, posting pictures (I really really haven't forgotten!), leg-shaving.... Thank goodness it's been cooler here these past few days!! I've been wearing pants and getting away with it just fine!.

Anyway, life is good, folks. It's different. It's still hard on me (esp. since I had a rockin rough day at work today and all I wanted when I got home was to crawl in bed and cry tonight), but I LOVE my little dude. He is so wonderful. He is, in fact, even better than I dared to hope. He's funny. He's smart. And he LOVES to talk. Who wouldn't love that?!


BMA said...

If all you do when you get home is spend time with Minh, then you should walk tall and be proud, because THERE IS NO MORE IMPORTANT WORK on this planet. No one anywhere ever said or wrote that balancing a career and a family would be easy. But, I promise you, it is worth the herculean effort.
I suspect that those anonymous, bitter comments are from people who have never learned (or perhaps even tried) to walk with one foot in each world, career and home. Don't let their commentary bring you down. Just remember that it is important that you be the very best mom you can be for that very special child.

Anonymous said...

I remember when I had my first child and when I went back to work, I felt overwhelmed with chores and taking care of the baby. I just couldn't find my "niche" and how to balance it all. My mom gave me the best advice and that was.....take care of the baby and let the housework go. Your little one is only little for a short time and housework will always be there. I felt that was good advice and took it. I have two children now and my house is not always very straight, but I let that go and take care of my kids. In fact, my mom says to even let the toys lay around b/c one day they'll be gone and you'll miss those little cars and dolls laying everywhere. I guess as working moms, we have to learn to do the best balancing act that we can. We just have to follow our hearts and do what is best for our family. Let unwanted advice and negative comments go.....you know what you are doing and that is all that matters!!

Anonymous said...

So happy that you guys are getting into your "groove"!. It will take a while, but you will figure it out. Hope to see you soon!