Friday, August 22, 2008

Forced day-off


I'm protesting publicly. I've been forced to take a day off work. That's right. I was told to stay home. I have serious issues with this... It's 10 o'clock and I have gotten virtually nothing done. Well, that's not true. I have chased the baby around the house for like 30 minutes, fed and clothed the baby, chased the baby around the house AGAIN, and am now watching him as he sleeps. I'm supposed to be working on real work (which I will get to here in a second), but as soon as the baby wakes up, I'll be back to baby wrangling.

I don't know how SAHPs (that's Stay At Home Parents to be fair to Moms AND Dads) do it. Y'all are really wonderful and special people and deserve to be sainted. It would make me crazy. There's NO F-ing WAY I COULD DO IT. Plus, I miss being at work. It's SOOOO hard for me to focus on work here at my house. We are STILL working on getting the house back from the mess it became when we rolled home, and I HATE the mess. HATE HATE HATE. I have a hard time enjoying ANY of the rooms when I look up and see a pile of CRAP sitting there on a chair, table, or whatever. Now, it's not THAT bad, really. But the clutter is there, and it makes me nuts. Minh's play room is a wreck. I spent 10 minutes cleaning the toys up and he spent 10 seconds taking them back out. I put them back, he takes them out.... So, I finally got smart this morning, and left the toys out... but now, there are toys ALL OVER THE FLOOR. So, I'm trying to work in the living room. But, Minh LOVES the computer...or maybe he hates it. I can't tell. But when the laptop is out, and he's awake, he just wants to treat it like a drum. So, I can't exactly work while he's awake.


Ok, I know I sound like I'm bitching an AWFUL lot...and I am. And to be perfectly fair, I am both very happy and kind of depressed (I've read about this too. Post Adoption Depression). I hate that my life has been usurped by this little person. But, I love this little person. It's a weird feeling being both happy and sad at the same time, especially after wanting this for sooooo long.

However, no matter what, Minh is WONDERFUL. He is a true joy to get to know, to be around, and to spend time with. Out of the 3 weeks he's been with us, he's only woken up unhappy ONE SINGLE DAY in the entire 3 weeks (and that was today). Every other day he has gotten up with a HUGE smile of his face, and ready to face the world with a fantastic attitude. A real lesson for all of us. (Especially me, huh?).

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine how hard it is to keep up with a new baby when he is already running around. Most biological parents (I believe, since I have no kids) at least get a sort of ramp up period. Anyway I admire your frankness about the whole situation and think that frankness is what makes you a wonderful parent.

Anonymous said...

Alyson (forgot to sign my comment above and don't want anyone else be blamed for my opinion!)...

Kathryn said...

i should have been more honest with you about how hard it is. the rewards are just so great that it usually doesn't occur to me to talk about the down side of parenting. but it is really hard. and honestly you just have to suck it up. that doesn't mean you can't complain and be sad sometimes - just don't let the little one know if you can help it. i'm not always successful on that front, but real often i literally grin and bear it. eventually you'll settle into a routine and almost forget the freedom you had before minh - i promise. having said all this, i'm going to be riding the rollercoaster of my life come next february. i'm terrified and elated all at the same time! i know it's going to be awful and wonderful. such is life, right? anyway, you'll be a pro by then, and i'll be crying on your shoulder about being in baby jail. :)
xoxo
p.s. remind me to talk to you about our local playgroup.

Anonymous said...

Give me a break! You didn't take any time off with your newly adopted baby, and you actually have the gall to complain that you miss work! Personally, I think your whole attitude sucks. Sorry, I have been reading your blog for quite a while now and I shake my head when I read these things! If you don't want to be a mom, and deal with "toys all over" and running around with a baby, then why did you adopt one!

Anonymous said...

bb

Jenny said...

I think i mention that being a sahm for me is one of the most isolating things I have ever done. The toys will only get worse, the kid can't just look at them! And there will be more clutter than you could ever imagine, that is why we bought the giant house. I was sad for my sleeping and ability to go whereever I wanted but you have to take a step back and really think about it and try to appreciate those moments that might make you nuts in your former life...it gets better and worse, so try to enjoy what you can....

Anonymous said...

You have to just chill out and realize that once you have kids, you live for them. Your life should be centered around your child and who gives a crap if your house isn't clean. I have two kids and my house is never straight, but my children are the most important people in my life. You do have a horrible attitude and you really need to take some time off and get your attitude in check.

Susan, Matt, Mia said...

I know how you feel. I was home for 5 weeks after our China adoption and it was a very weird feeling. I think it was a couple of months until I really felt like I LOVED her. You went from having your own life and schedule to one that is not what you were used to.

Give it time. It does get better.

Susan

Anonymous said...

most people would be saying they are sad to not be at home, not the other way around. I agree, you sound like maybe you didn't look into what it was going to mean once he came home. It needs to be about him, otherwise you will resent your kids if its all about a clean house, and getting your own work done. It will come, but you have to change too.

Kendra said...

Don't understand the judgments being tossed about via comments. Becoming a parent can be a difficult adjustment. It's particularly difficult adjusting to an older infant -- there's no time to grow used to being a parent. You are simply handed an active, busy, curious almost-toddler and told that he/she is yours to care for. Parents of newborns have a little time to adjust because newborns are pretty darn stationary. Being a new parent of an older infant can be hard, and it can be a delight at the same time. Enjoy your time with and without your little man. BOTH of those times will help make you a great mom. Not everyone is cut out to be a stay-at-home-parent, but that doesn't mean they aren't GREAT parents. It isn't fair to make judgments over one small frustration-induced blog post.