Saturday, August 30, 2008
Minh and I went for our first ever lunch date yesterday. It was very very nice - and with another A-mom - and Minh was wonderful. We spent 2 hours talking (me and the other A-mom - Minh also talked, but that was more of a one-sided conversation) and my little ankle biter was AWESOME. He was charming, and funny, and other than flipping my entire lunch on the table (totally my fault - I did leave it where he could grab it), he was just fantastic. I had some hesitation with going to lunch with this person (I'll call her B), since I don't know her very well, and there are some things about our "relationship" that makes it a little difficult to become actual friends with her, BUT she is a fantastic woman - and aside form being another adoptive parent, B is also a working mother (who went back to work 3 weeks after bringing their DD home). It was great to hear from someone who has been through what I am going through - and she reminded me that it's OK to be a smart, dynamic, attractive, and WORKING Mother.
Ok, digression coming ........................
Nearly ALL the Moms I know (who are around my age - My Mother doesn't count!) are SAHMs. Or the preggers ladies in my life WANT to be SAHMs. And as I have said before (and will no doubt say again), I have the ABSOLUTE UTMOST respect for stay-at-home-parents in a BIG BIG way, but it is SOOOO not for me. Seriously. I took yesterday morning and part of the afternoon off to spend with the Minute, and I've had him most of today (Saturday). And it's been great. Fun even (we had coffee with another wonderful lady!)!! BUT, I know there is an end in sight - so to speak. Monday, I get to go back to work. I love my son but I am indeed a better parent BECAUSE I work. I get to stimulate my brain, I get to talk to other adults - with words that make sense - and I LOVE IT. I LOVE MY JOB. I love being a Mom. and I LOVE my job. I get virtually NO support from anyone in my life for this path I have chosen - or the people around me doesn't really understand what I am dealing with. Which is ok, but I do begin to feel isolated. Hence the lunch date with B.
Digression over ..................
Anyway, it was really nice. Minute was great, (did I mention how ADORABLE he was??) and it was really nice to hear that you can be a good Mom AND a woman (in a man's world) working at an academic institution. The most important advice she gave me was this (and I bet this is the kind of advice that working Moms as WELL SAHMs need to hear - Are you ready? Here it is:
MAKE SURE YOU MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. Take time to get your nails and hair done if that makes you feel better, or get a gym membership and GO TO THE GYM if that's what you enjoy. Or get your butt back into that yoga class you love... find something that replenishes your soul and allow yourself to be selfish enough to DO IT every week (or whatever).
Advice to live by.
So, what makes y'all happy? What do you do FOR YOURSELF? I want to know.