Monday, August 25, 2008

Weekend ends

I spent 3 whole days with my Minute Man. I gave T the weekend "off" (He had some social events, plus he teaches yoga, and he was also squeezing in some work this weekend as well) and took care of M for 3 days straight...pretty much by my self. The first day was actually the hardest (the day I blogged - Friday) as I hadn't done anything like that EVER! It really is a very difficult adjustment - as Kendra so eloquently put it! It's not like I get to start with a tiny baby and "work up" to a toddler... my little guy is fully mobile, needy, and doesn't watch TV, so I spend my entire time with him really BEING WITH him. Mostly we play together, or I just carry him around the house pointing out the animals, or "stuff" around the house to help him learn the names of things. I do love it, but it IS hard. And frankly, I get tired of reading about/hearing about how everything is always warm and fuzzy and perfect. I only read about 3 blogs these days, and what I LOVE LOVE LOVE about these blogs is that the ladies (all 3 SAHMs) are honest about how they feel. They love their children more than anything in their life. They also talk about days where they can't get out of their pjs 'cause their child is sick or just having a bad day and it takes ALL their energy to deal with the baby, which means there's nothing left over for them... We all KNOW it's going to be hard. Of course we are up for the challenge, but it doesn't make it EASIER just KNOWING it'll BE hard! And, it's GOOD to hear the truth, folks. It shows you you aren't alone. A-parents have enough mountains to climb that they don't need to be attacked or second-guessed by other people who don't know a damn thing about their situation or their family (can you believe there are actually people out there OPPOSED to adoption!!? Not only that, but they feel the need to SHARE that with you!! How many people do you think walk up to a pregnant lady and say "hey, I'm opposed to your being

pregnant. You shouldn't do it"? People ACTUALLY say these things to a-parents... oh well. It takes all kinds. Even stupid people are still people, I guess) but, I digress. After the first day, it actually got easier (which now that I think about it, makes sense. But at the time, I thought it would get harder). And by Sunday, which I thought would be the hardest day, I was figuring it all out...mostly. And I was feeling very good about how we were doing (I even went out and did some grocery shopping successfully!!) Furthermore, Sunday seemed to be Minute's hardest day. He was very clingy, and WOULD NOT nap. It kind of felt nice being needed, even if I didn't get much done on the house! ;-> I did manage a quick shower when friends next-door offered to walk the baby (in his stroller) around the neighborhood. Aside from Mom crying as Miss K walked my child away from me (conversely, Minh did great), I did as much as I could in the next 30 minutes - INCLUDING shaving my legs. You moms out there know what I mean when I say how excited I was to have time to shave my legs!!

Today I went back to work. I love work, and am (really really) glad to be back. However, I am already looking forward to tonight when I get to hang out with my little man!

Oh, and I'll post more pictures later today or tomorrow. I have been taking them, honest!!!


mimi lam said...

I have been following your journey to your charming little Minh, and I think he is the most adorable, hansome, charming todler, I love his laughing eyes, his dimples, gosh!, he will be a ladykiller. I like your frank, honest thoughts about parenting experiences, it has its up and down, but as long as your main focus is to make sure your baby is well love and your longing to see his smiles when you come home is totally worth all the hard works. Thank you for sharing. Mimi Lam.

Anonymous said...

I just hope that your little man does not pick up on your negative feelings when you are having them. As parents, we all have bad days and feel like throwing in the towel, but you have to manage to keep those feelings to yourself. Children can sense when their parents are upset or frustrated and believe me, they play off such emotions. I know it's hard and it will ALWAYS be hard, but you will adjust and your life will NEVER EVER be the same...FOR THE BETTER. There is nothing like being a parent.

classy phil said...

good lord. your can't let your kids see you in bad mood? i would never have seen my father when i was growing up.

nesh, my god, what are you thinking showing emotions and frustrations? the child could be permanently scarred. he should never have to see anything bad. wrap him in bubble tape and i'll pick up some NERF furniture as soon as i can.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your journey since a friend of mine posted your link on her blog to adopt from China. I have never really experienced knowing anyone who has gone thru the adoption process....its very interesting to read about and see how the process works. I have two children and know how hard it can be;i can't imagine what it must be like to "get" (lack of a better word---sorry) a child that is a mobile toddler....I am sure it has turned your life upside down for now, but I know you will adjust. I read my friend's blog quite often to just keep up with how things are going in her life and found myself just as interested in your blog even though I don't know you. It sounds like you are fabulous people that are just going thru normal emotions from the experiences you are having.

I wish you and your precious family all the best. I enjoy your blog and just thought I'd share my thoughts.

Your child is precious.

Jill said...

I was at home for 3 months with Brady and they were so hard. I am a much better mommy because I go to work each day. It sounds awful but I just could not deal. It is hard going to a full blown toddler even though we love them

Nesha said...

Oh, god. Thank you Jill!! (and thank you Mimi, AND friend from a friend's China blog!!) You know, that's the best way I can think of putting it too. I am a better Mom BECAUSE I go to work. It is SO true. I LOVE my job. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE coming home to my little guy. It gives me such a charge to be with him after work (which doesn't make it less "hard" sometimes, but it allows me perspective!). Thank you thank you.