I am preparing to blog on something I have not blogged on for many many months; maybe years. Baby Magic and the China Adoption.
And I labeled/titled this post something that ALL adoptive parents want to say "We got the call". And before anyone gets too excited, we didn't get THAT call, but the one that comes BEFORE THAT call.
Last night our China Agency called us to tell us our LID batch was next up for referrals.
Knock me the F-over!
I DREAMED of this day for YEARS. Anyone adopting does. You hope, you pray, you cry, you beg... you cry some more. You CAN.NOT.WAIT.TO.GET.THE.CALL.
And when I got it last night I was so damn angry over the whole process, and I wasn't particularly nice to our "contact" at our agency. (She had an attitude too, however, and I might add that I have been logged in longer than she has even WORKED there...she should cut us parents some slack!) I could barely understand what she was telling me.
Her (very perky): Hello! I am calling to tell you that your Log-In-Date batch is next up for referral! We need you to file (a thousand more pieces of paper and pay a zillion more dollars) so that you are ready on Match Day!!!
Me: Um. Wow. Didn't you call me a year ago and tell me the same thing? If we had done the paper work then we'd have paid (a ZILLION and 3 more dollars) and still had to have to do our paperwork all over again this year. Is it for real this time?
Her (much LESS perky): Well, my records indicate I spoke to you in March of '09, and you indicated you were unsure of your status.
Me: No kidding.
Her (with no perky to speak of): Well, the most recent batch of dossiers with LIDs through May 23rd 2006 was just referred to families. Your LID is expected to be next. Now is the time to get all your paperwork up to date.
Me: And when do you expect our referral to go through?
Her (testy now): well. In the next 9-12 months.
Me: And if we re-do our Home Study and our ICE paperwork, will that last through the next year, or will we have to re-do it AGAIN?
Her (obviously annoyed with me for some reason): Probably not. Shall I send you the paperwork or do you want to get back to me on this?
Me: Send me the paperwork. It's electronic, right? It can't hurt to send it. Then I have it and I can look at it and DH and I can make the decision. But obviously we have some time, right?
Her: I guess you do.
Me: Thanks and I have your number.
Ok, well, that's about how it went. Maybe I wasn't terribly pleasant, but for those of you not familiar with our story, or China adoption, we have been waiting for FIVE YEARS. FIVE LONG YEARS. When we started, referrals were taking about 9 months from Log In to Match, and you traveled a few months later... for a total wait time of about 14 months. Then immediately after we got ready, the whole machine ground to a screeching halt.
Now, after 5 years, and another whole (completed) adoption later, we are NEXT UP FOR REFERRAL. Only about 2 years ago I decided I don't have any interest in another kid. (My first one is perfect, how can another one be better??) DH pretty much agreed; until yesterday.
"Maybe we should do it." he says. And of course, MM thinks it would be WONDERFUL to be a big brother (although he is lobbying for a litter sister who is a boy...).
The issue now is that it is no longer a random issue; we actually have to make the decision. Do we go through with it or not?
*As an quick update: I started trying to find some of the old China sites I used to spend HOURS reading - you know the sites: the China blogs, the chat groups, the "what to expect" groups, the LID groups...
I SPENT HOURS on those sites back when we were paper-chasing, and after we were LID. They were a life-saver to help keep me sane. Now, I can't find a single one! I am SOOOO far out of the loop! I do not know a THING about China adoptions anymore.
(Those of you who know me are laughing. Yes, I am a type-A person; information is like GOLD! The more information I can gather, the calmer I become....
Now, I need INFO!
oh, and coffee......
4 comments:
Jenny here (mimi and cams mommy)...going to be completely frank.
2 kids is hard. You really really need to want to have 2 kids. I would not change a damn thing but honestly 2 is different than 1.
and do you really want another baby or not? Only you can decide. do you feel your family is complete or not?
I have a friend who adopted a 2nd recently and expressed how the 2nd threw everything up in the air. She wouldn't change a thing but that she never realized how hard 2 was compared to 1.
I think you will find in your heart if it is right for you and i wish you peace with your choice. Either way is good btw. 2 is hard but it is also fun!
That's great news, I had no idea that was still an option! I'm sure you guys have a lot to think about. I can't begin to imagine what's going through your heads right now. Just know that if you ever need anything, I'm just a hop, skip and jump away and am more than willing to help. There's nothing like having family around and you've got to take advantage of it!
-Jake
I am speechless for many reasons.
WOW!!??!!??! EXCITING??!!??!!! MAYBE??!!?? MAYBE NOT??!!??!!
My heart goes out to you guys with this decision. You know all of us support you guys and love you no matter what.
For the record, having 2 kids is the toughest job I'll ever love. And, nothing worthwhile is easy.
Ok, done with the cliches. An intervention is needed to detach Rebecca's hand from Ari's hair. Good times. Get ready :) :) :) or not :) :) :)
--Britta
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